Project: Neverbound (A Double Life AU fanfic)

21 - Caving In

Bdubs didn't know what to do anymore.

It'd only been a few nights since his horrible vision, and between his confrontation with Doc and the sudden, unexplainable fire at his neighbors and friends' house, things were happening a little too fast for him to comprehend it all. Hell, he was hardly phased by the whole fire, and the full weight of the situation was finally starting to press itself onto him now, multiple days after it happened.

The worst part was how undecided he was on keeping it all a secret. He wanted nothing more than to sit down with his partner and tell him about everything he saw, but he just... couldn't seem to muster the courage. He already had to relive it to tell Doc, and with how beautifully that went, he couldn't stomach the thought of letting it all out again. He knew Impulse, the tinkerer was as kind and patient as he was handsome, but yet Bdubs still wondered how much willpower he was using to hold himself back from shaking the shorter man by his shoulders to get some answers to his sudden abject misery.

The nightmare he had the portion of the night they spent in the hospital certainly didn't help either. In it, he awoke on the indoor bench as if he just had a dreamless night, but he was sprawled out on the cold metal by himself. He thought Impulse maybe just woke up and didn't want to disturb him, but as he went down every hallway and looked inside every room, there wasn't a soul to be found. Now panicked, he ran outside, only to see that it was still as empty and desolate as the building was somehow. The rest of it was a blur, as dreams tend to be, but while it was visually blurry, he could still remember one thing: he was terrified, more than terrified even. He used everything left in his voice to call out every name he knew, hoping that someone would answer back and let him know he wasn't alone, but no one answered. He was the sole living spirit in a ghost town, and his loneliness was killing him.

It felt like ages passed before he awoke, and all he wanted to do when he did was hold his bound closely and never let him go, as if doing so for even a second would leave him alone again. He hated it. He hated being so afraid. He was never this scared of anything before, and if he was, he could talk about it. Here, he was stuck in this never ending loop of being too scared to face it, too scared to turn his back on it, and too scared to call out for help.

He felt sorry for Impulse, trying to do everything he could to get Bdubs to feel at least a little bit better in these harsh times. It made him thankful that it was only physical pain they shared and nothing else.

Hell, right now Bdubs had his eyes shut as he leaned on his partner and held his hand in his own. They were both sat on the couch, the TV still on despite the movie they had going ending at least an hour or two ago. It was hard for Bdubs to get any sleep nowadays with the fear of the nightmare and general restlessness in his anxiety, so despite how tired he was and the fact that it was at least 2 in the morning, he was still awake.

His grip on Impulse's hand tightened, if only a little. Maybe tomorrow morning would be right to tell him about the vision. If he could get it over with and tell him right now it would be good, but he obviously wasn't keen on waking up his partner in the middle of the night. The morning would be fine, their heads would be clear and they could talk about it with an awareness that just doesn't exist in a midnight discussion. He still dreaded bringing it up, but it was what he needed to do, he was sure of it.

While Bdubs was still racking his mind over the fountain, Impulse was in a completely different plain of reality. Of course the ghosts would be looking for him, since he promised to meet back up with them after the night in the hospital, but it's been a few nights since then, and Impulse, for one didn't want to leave his partner alone even in spirit, and two, didn't even dream to begin with. He wasn't sure what caused him to not be in the ghost world for all those days, but he assumed it was his urge to stay with Bdubs incase the shorter brunette needed him.