The blue Julien Rose Baker

Send Me Every Song That Keeps You Up From Sleeping

Tonight I am going on tour with boygenius. I am best friends with the whole group being that we're all in the same industry and we have a song together (which we were going to sing together at the end of the show). I had also grown up with Phoebe. I came to their last show which was in Julien's home state not too far from her house so we went and stayed at her house that night so we could all leave together. "Morning loves," I say, stretching. "Morning, bug," Julien says, coming behind me and wrapping her arms around the back of me. I blush, seeing Julien's strong and inked arms around my body. "Are you excited for tonight?" Phoebe asks "Um... yes." "what are the songs you're going to sing?" Julien asks, pulling her arms out from around me. I shiver without her there. "I-I'm gonna sing a few from my minor and a few from TIWIFL and a few other ones and a surprise song." TIWIFL or This Is What It Feels Like is an album about getting older and friends and other stuff like that. I am also going to play the song that I wrote about Julien after the last time we saw eachother and how I fucked everything up. Soon enough we hit the road to the next venue. We all go to buy a few snacks, Julien buys Dunken and I wait with her and when we're walking towards the other boys I run around like a little kid looking at everything that catches my eye. "Jules, look at this! isn't it so cute?" I turn to Julien who smiles at me and chuckles. "yeah. It is cute, bug." Julien says walking up and hugging me. I turn around to find Julien's eyes and reach my arms over Julien's shoulders. We smile at each other for a little while. "Alright, we should probably head back to the boys." Julien says, grabbing my hand. I smile brightly as we walk towards the boys. "aww look at these two handsome boys" Lucy says and both of us blush profusely. "So should we make a move?" Julien says awkwardly, scratching the back of her neck. "Yeah," I say, shrugging it off. We get on to the bus, I'm sitting next to Phoebe and giggling as she says her funny little sayings and Lucy and Julien sit next to each other. I'm wearing a comfy pair of baggy jorts and a gray tank top and some sunny's I've got a sweater just in case the air conditioning gets too much. Just something nice and comfortable for the long drive. Me and Phoebe get along really well. We grew up together. our parents were the best of friends and we went to kindergarten together where we fought over who could burp the loudest. Phoebe won. Then we would go digging for worms and other various insects. I think I was partially looking for treasure. Then we were friends all throughout elementary and high school and after that, we still stayed friends. I fall asleep sometime during the drive and wake up to hear that we've arrived. I see the boys all looking at her and giggling Lucy having her phone pulled out. "Did you take a photo of me?" I ask. "Uhhh...no. We took several, " Lucy says giggling. "I don't care, I just wanna see them," I reply. Lucy shows me the photos and we all laugh as I turn bright red. "oh my god that's so embarrassing" I say, burying my face in my hands. "No! You're so cute when you sleep!" Julien says. I turn even more red."Thanks, Love. we should probably get going." I say, still blushing. We get off the bus and grab our bags with everything we'll need for the night and head out to the venue. Once we get there I do a quick sound check while the boys head out to get food and by the time I'm done, the boys have just gotten back. We take a quick food break and then they do their sound check which in total with mine was around two to three hours. We're all exhausted by the time we've finished but we cheer each other up by talking and laughing. Julien buys us all Dunken which is her favourite thing in this world and then people start flowing into the venue. I have on a white skirt with navy-coloured ribbon bows all over it and a navy tank top to match. I have my naturally wavy hair down and have another bow in it. I've got a light makeup look on, consisting of skin tint, concealer, blush, eyeliner, mascara, brow gel, and my go-to lip colour and then all locked in with powder and setting spray. "There's a lot more people here than I thought there would be. usually, people show up after the opener" I say "Well people love you." Lucy says. "yeah. you're sick!" Phoebe says "Aww! Thanks, guys! I think I've gotta go on now! Wish me luck!" I say. "Not that you need it but good luck," Phoebe says, hugging me. I lean in to hug Julien "Make sure you're listening to the last song" I whisper in Julien's ear and wink as we pull away. I wave goodbye as I walk off towards the stage. The fog comes on the stage signaling me to walk on stage. As I appear on the stage the crowd goes wild. The first song starts playing and I start to sing as the crowd accompanies me. When the song finishes I say "Hey" and the crowd goes crazy. "I didn't think this many people would be here for the opening act," I say, laughing along with the crowd. "this next song is one of my more popular ones so if you know it sing along," I say smiling to the crowd as I grab my guitar and start to play. "Oh we almost got away, we cut it close, the city's getting loud if I choke it's only cause I'm scared to be alone been trying to work it out you should know" I sing the rest of the song. I go through the rest of the hour-long set. when I reach the last song and I look into the crowd to see Julien watching me. " This is my last song of the night," I say everyone becomes silent "But boygenius comes on in around half an hour," I say, cheering the crowd up. "this song is really special to me. It's unreleased so I hope you like it. I wrote it about one of my best friends, who is here today. They helped me after I got out of a toxic relationship and then we had an intimate moment a few months back and it's about that." I look over to Julien and smile sweetly "Here it is!" I start to play the picking pattern on my guitar and I start to sing
"I had a rush
of all the voices in my head
but you held me up
had to fall off the deep end
for you to want me as much

but I still love you
in all the ways that I shouldn't
(I shouldn't)
still hope you feel the same too
but if I were you I wouldn't
can't control how you flew
tried to hold you but I couldn't

I don't know where to go
I don't know where to go
I don't know where to go"
I look up at the crowd and make eye contact with Julien
"haven't eaten in days
miss the smell of your cooking
and the way that you say
that your not even looking
but I miss when you'd stay
the night, and I'd find you smoking

don't know when it got quiet
but you were the sound
all I hear now is silence
I'm still trying to find out
what happened to our island
the one no one knew about"
I continue to sing, keeping eye contact with Julien. Julien starts to cry in the audience which she never does. I close my eyes not wanting to see the look on Julien's face as I sing.
"I don't know where to go
I don't know where to go
I don't know where to go

I don't know where to go
I don't know where to go
I don't know where to go

and I hate it
when I try and call you
never get an answer
wish that that was true

can't imagine
everything I told you
never had the guts to
tell you the truth

I don't know where to go
I don't know where to go
I don't know where to go"
I finish the song. I look up to see Julien standing in shock like she doesn't know what to say or do like she's having an anxiety attack. "Thank you, everyone!" I say and walk off the stage with my guitar in hand. "Holy shit, Chelsea! First of all that was hella bold, but secondly, holy shit that was so amazing!!!" Phoebe says, smirking. "Thanks, phoebs!" I say, blushing. "Chels! That was so good! Not that I'm surprised" Lucy says, hugging me. "She's in her dressing room," Phoebe says, noticing me looking around the room. I smile at her nervously before walking towards Julien's dressing room. I knock on Julien's door and hear Julien's voice say "Come in'' when Julien sees me enter the small room, all the colour leaves her face except for her two rosy cheeks (get it? rose-y) "Uh... wow..." Julien says "That was great Chels!" I smile fakely, trying to hold myself together. "Thanks! Uhh... so what did you think?" I ask, regretting it as soon as I say it. "Oh... I liked it. You're a great performer" Julien says sheepishly. "Sorry, it was probably too much if you don't want me here for the rest of the tour. I fully understand I bet you and the boys can find someone else to open for you since you are all so talented..." I trail off as I notice how close Julien was to my face. "I just don't know how to tell you what I'm feeling inside..." Julien says. her breath was hot against my skin. " Could you show me instead?" I say, tracing my eyes across her face. Julien smiles. It's goofy but cute still which is exactly how she smiles when she's happy. "Yeah. I could show you" She says before closing the small gap between the two of us. It startles me. my head spins and then something clicks. Holy shit. I am kissing Julien Rose Baker. I moan as Julien's tongue slips past my teeth getting tangled with my own. I kiss back and Julien pushes me against her vanity. I put my hands on the table behind me for support, making sure I don't fall over. Soon we both release from the kiss, needing air. Our foreheads softly collide "So I'm guessing you feel the same way about me huh." I breathe out, still catching my breath."Yeah. I fell for you as I was watching you perform a few months ago. I came over to your new apartment and you played me a song that you had written and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. I lost my mind over you that night. All my thoughts were about you. I dreamt about you every night since then" Julien giggled as she spoke "I think it was clear when I fell but just in case... I fell for you the night that I came over after Zara had... y'know... and you were treating my boo-boos." I laugh sadly. I fell for a 25-year-old who still calls injuries boo-boo's Julien thinks to herself. "Your performance was really good even though I had a hard time saying it. I really liked the song" Julien says, placing a kiss on my head. I giggle and say "Oh yeah? Well, I'm glad! I think we might have had a problem if you didn't" Julien chuckles. "Yeah, I suppose we would." Someone comes in and tells Julien that she has 10 minutes til she has to go on stage so we both leave the room and walk toward the stage. I grab Julien's hand and put my head on her shoulder. Phoebe and Lucy laugh at us. "You owe me $20," Phoebe says to Lucy and we both blush. Throughout the concert, she makes explicit eye contact with me. Fans notice me during the show and I turn, wave and smile at them all. The rest of the night was amazing. I giggle at all of the boy's silly little jokes and jamming to their songs.
a/n: heeyyy sorry i didn't update yesterday! it was my first day of school and it was very hectic. i wrote the song in this chapter so if you like it let me know! love you all! mwah
word count:(2149)