The blue Julien Rose Baker

Stayin' Up With You

TW: mentions of ED and substance abuse
Once I finish my soup it's 3 am and I'm getting tired again. "I think I'm gonna get some rest." I say, finishing my last bite of toast. "Okay, bug. I'm so proud of you" Julien says, kissing me on the forehead. "thanks." I smile. I walk outside to say goodnight to the other boys. "hey! how are you feeling?" Lucy asks. "A lot better. I just wanted to say good night! I'm gonna get some sleep." I say. I walk over to Lucy and kiss her forehead. I walk to Phoebe. "Hi, love. You should get some sleep, yeah?." I say. She nods "this is the last one okay?" I say, looking at her beer "I know. It's my second." She says, I smile. I kiss her nose, forehead and both cheeks. "you wanna sleep with me tonight?" I ask her. "yeah sure I'll be in, in a little bit" She says, nodding. I walk in blowing both of the boys a kiss. I walk into the trailer again "I think I'm going to sleep with Phoebe tonight. I just want to be with someone super familiar right now." I say, giving Julien a peck. "I love you though!" I say "Thank you for taking care of me tonight." I give her another peck. "I love you too and it's really no problem" She responds kissing the top of my head "as long as you're safe, comfortable and healthy it's no problem if it gets you there." I smile again. I give her a hug and then I start to get my pj's on. I goninto the bathroom and do my dental hygiene and skin care. I walk out of the bathroom and fill my water again before crawling into bed. "G'night Jules" I say as she bends over my head "night Chels. sweet dreams" She says and I smile at her, quickly falling asleep.

I wake up at 5 am feeling the bed empty and cold. I get up, walking outside to see Phoebe sitting on a camping chair. She's smoking a cigarette which she doesn't do very often.I sit down beside her and watch her take a puff. she passes me the cigarette silentley and I take a puff. "I had a feeling this would happen. I saw the comments but you were with Julien and I figured that she would protect you. That she would make sure you were okay about it" She says "I shouldn't have been so stupid. I should have-" Her voice breaks "Phoebe it happens. It happens all the time. I have a habit of taking my anger out on my body. I treat myself like shit and it's because of old habits and things that you've experienced me go through. You can't always be there for me and responsible for me. You have to care for yourself." I say as my eyes well up in tears "I love you and that's why I need you to start being there for yourself like you are for me" I look at her. She stares straight ahead in shock and then smiles slightly. "I love you too" She says, looking over at me smiling. "Thanks for looking out for me" I nod. I walk over to her and grab the blanket she has around her, huddling up. "Always and Forever" I whisper back as the sun starts to rise.
a/n: hey! here is this week's chapter!i hope you liked it! sorry its late