Unwanted -- Tony Stark's Daughter

Chapter 10

After Peter walked me home I found Nat sitting in the kitchen, waiting on me. "Where were you?" I immediately stressed. Didn't dad tell the others? "Didn't dad tell you?" She gave me a blank stare. "Tony did, but I want to hear it from you." Fuck. I mean I was with Peter, but I'm not going to tell her that we fucked. "I was with Peter." She raised her eyebrows. "That's it? Nothing more to say?" I shook my head. "No. I was at his house." I guess her suspicion died down, because she didn't press me any further. I didn't have much to hide, but I just wasn't used to telling the truth anymore. Lying was easier most of the time. Nat looked up at me once again. "We're eating dinner soon, be ready." I didn't want to eat. Not at all. Only the thought of food made me want to throw up. "I already ate with Peter." She raised her eyebrows again. "Are you sure about that?", she asked. I was sure I didn't eat yet, but she couldn't know that. "Why would I lie about that? Of course I ate." I was really lucky I was able to lie, because otherwise I would have been in big trouble. Nat couldn't find out. It was not that I wasn't happy with my body, I just didn't want to eat. Nobody would understand that. I had a great body and, of course, I could always be skinnier. But this wasn't about that. I just really didn't want to eat. "I'm going to do some homework. I'll probably be in my room the whole evening."

Nat looked confused. "You're not joining us for dinner?" How do I respond to that? No. That's too blunt. "No? I already ate." I said. "But why can't you just join us? You don't have to eat much, but there's always room for a little bit more. Right?" I couldn't say no to that. "Right. I'll join you soon." Of course, she wouldn't let me skip dinner. She never did. I don't know why she won't, though. I already ate. Or I guess she thinks I already did. Sometimes I gaslight others so much I forget I did. I forget the truth. I kind of sound like a psychopath right now, but I guess I just start to believe my own lies. It's hard not to when you lie really often.

I quickly walked up the stairs and closed the door behind me. I sacked to the ground, because I didn't have very much energy. My stomach grumbled and it felt really empty. I took out my earphones and looked for a calming playlist. Most of my playlist contained (pop)rock (Måneskin, AC/DC, Arctic Monkeys, etc.), but I saw one playlist called 'Soft<3'. I hadn't listened to it for quite some time now, but I suddenly felt that it was right for this moment. Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers started playing and I could immediately feel myself calming down. Just deep breaths in, deep breaths out. In and out. It was all I could do to stop myself from grabbing the razor blade, hopefully still hidden, in my nightstand. It was all I could hope for in that moment. I heard Nat yelling from downstairs that dinner was ready, and I knew I didn't have a choice. That's technically not true, you always have a choice, but sometimes there's no other smart decision to make. So, I stood up and opened my door.

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Right as I walked down the stairs, I noticed my dad sitting there with a concerned expression. He also looked a bit.. disappointed? Shit. What did he find out? What did I do wrong? I walked to the table and said hi, maybe it was a bit to enthusiastic. Dad looked up and I felt my stomach sink to the ground at his next words. "I called Peter." Don't say anything. You don't know how much he knows. "Peter said you didn't have dinner yet. Why won't you eat with us? Did you go out alone?" I nearly sighed with relieve at those words. I mean, it was bad that he knew, but it could have been way worse. I was able to talk myself out of this one. "Yeah, sorry I didn't tell you. I went to this restaurant by myself, because I don't really like macaroni. That's what we're eating, right?" Dad just nodded and I felt myself relax further. It wasn't as bad as at seemed at first. I could just go back to lying.

Nat, dad, Bruce, Steve and Clint were all eating macaroni and talking. Thor didn't join us, because he wasn't on earth at that moment. I sat with them and said something if the moment was right. I had done it hundreds of times before. I was becoming an expert at it. Saying enough so that no one would become too suspicious. I zoned out a bit, because the conversation was boring. I suddenly heard my name being called and I realized I was slumping in my seat. I tried to sit upright again, but my body just wouldn't listen. I slowly felt my eyes close and hoped Nat would keep her mouth shut.

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I felt almost immediately that I could open my eyes again. I opened them and wanted to take out my eyeballs forever. I saw dad. Not current dad, though. He was laying still. He was not moving. Then he opened his eyes and he grabbed a knife from the kitchen. The other avengers just stood there, watching. I tried to scream, but nothing came out of my mouth. Dad stabbed slit his own wrist open and looked at me accusingly. "Do you want me to do this? Would you really do that much for some attention? You're an ungrateful little bitch. Slutting your body out to some orphan. I expected better of you. Be ashamed!" The sound of his voice echoed and faded away until I suddenly felt myself sitting upright. I opened my eyes and was relieved to see that dad was still standing and that he hadn't slit his own wrist. Then I thought about the consequences this would bring. They would most certainly question why I fainted. "It must have been not sleeping enough." I immediately said before anyone could interrupt me I'd run upstairs.

The second I entered my room, I could feel reality setting in. It was just a nightmare, but that didn't mean I wasn't in trouble. If only I could just go back in time and do things again. I took a deep breath and I suddenly felt ill. I made it just in time to the toilet and I threw up. At least, all that there was to throw up. I sat there for another minute dry heaving above the toilet. When I didn't feel as sick, I quickly changed clothes. I fell asleep quickly, but it wouldn't be a peaceful sleep.

Hii everyone!
It's been really long since I updated this, but thank you for reading! I can't believe we're almost at 2k reads!! Thank you all so much<3 Also check the link of the playlist! 
X Lianne