never grow up, criminal minds

002. nightmares

Spencer sits up after waking up from his nightmare. He rubs his face, trying to regain control of his breathing. After a bit, he gets up and leaves his room. He can't help but to stop by Clara's room and quietly open the door. He quietly walks over to the crib, relaxing when he finds his daughter sleeping safe and sound.

+++

Spencer scurries around the apartment, waking up a bit late. Clara is sat on the floor while he runs around, getting their stuff.

"More coffee." He mutters, grabbing a to go cup and quickly filling it.

"Daddy." Clara whines, wanting to go to daycare already.

"Hang on, baby." Spencer says, trying to do everything as quickly as possible. "Okay." He mumbles, grabbing everything. "Okay." He walks out. A moment later, he unlocks the door and walks in.

"I am so sorry." He tells Clara, picking her up. "I love you so much. Daddy's brain isn't working very well right now. I'm sorry." He holds her and grabs the bags before locking the door and leaving.

+++

Spencer gets back from the case, frowning when Clara pops up on the couch.

"Daddy!" She cheers, her voice sounding as tired as she looks.

"Hey, honey." Spencer greets, smiling. "What are you doing up?" He walks over and picks her up, allowing her to cling to him.

"She wanted to wait up for you. She did fall asleep, but then she had a nightmare which woke her up." Ellie explains.

"Got it." Spencer nods, rubbing his daughter's back.

After bidding goodbyes with Ellie, Spencer sets his daughter on the counter.

"You have a bad dream?" He asks and she nods. "Yeah, I get it." He mumbles. "You want some milk?" Clara nods again.

Spencer picks her back up, not wanting to leave her on the counter and out of reach. He uses his free hand to pour some milk into her bottle and warm it up in the microwave. 

After letting it cool off a bit, he gives it to Clara who drinks some while he retreats to his bedroom. Spencer puts Clara on the bed and he quickly changes into pajamas.

"You wanna sleep in my bed tonight?" Spencer asks and Clara quickly nods, her eyes lighting up at not being alone. "Okay." He mumbles, getting in the bed. Clara cuddles into his side, lying on her back as she continues to drink some milk.

Spencer quietly talks about whatever comes to mind while he plays with her hair. After a while, the bottle slowly rolls out of Clara's grip making Spencer's lips quirk up. He gently grabs her arm and lifts it up before letting go of it, the limb dropping onto his stomach.

Spencer kisses her on the head and puts the bottle on the table next to his bed before finally getting a good night's rest himself.

+++

Spencer stands in the sanitorium, staring at his mother who is in a chair on the other side of the room. He's holding Clara in one arm and a wrapped up book in the other.

"I heard a rumor you were here." A nurse walks up, smiling at the genius and giving a soft smile to the infant.

"How's she doing?" He asks.

"Schizophrenia is a lifetime illness. The meds stabilize the worst of her symptoms, but she still has her bad days." The nurse says. "What makes her most happy are her journals and your daily letters. She is exceptionally proud of you."

"She is?"

"Talks about you all the time. To anyone who will listen. Staff, other patients. Her journals are filled with the cases you write her about. Calls them your adventures."