never grow up, criminal minds

013. halloween

"You're gonna miss Halloween?" Clara frowns, on the phone with her dad.

"I'm so sorry, baby." Spencer says. "But, hey. Ellie is gonna go with the other moms who are all gonna take you kids trick or treating, so you'll still get to be with your friends."

"Yeah, but I want you, too." She huffs.

"I know. I really wish I could stay home, but I can't, honey." Spencer says. "I'll make it home as soon as I possibly can. Maybe I won't even miss it. There's a chance I won't miss it."

"There's always a chance." Clara mumbles. Spencer's heart practically crushes when he hears the pain in her voice.

"I'll be home when I can. I love you." Spencer tells her.

"I love you, too." She says, her tone still dejected. Spencer sighs as she hangs up, his guilt starting to slowly drown him.

+++

The team get back from the case and Spencer gets the go ahead to leave. He rushes back to his apartment, running in.

"Daddy!" Clara's face lights up at his presence.

"Hi!" Spencer grins. "Oh, wow, you look so great." He compliments, seeing her in her witch costume. "So beautiful."

"Thank you." Clara grins, hugging him. "Ellie helped make the hat."

"Some of my best work." Ellie remarks, lightly brushing the girl's cheek.

"You know, witches actually--" Spencer starts to rant, but sees the innocent curiosity in his daughter's eyes, realizing what he may say isn't the most appropriate for a six year old. "Never mind. You ready to go get some candy?"

"Uh-huh." Clara excitedly nods.

+++

Spencer sighs as Clara continues to ramble about everything going on in first grade. He tries to seem interested in the conversation even if he can barely hear himself think over the pounding in his head and her high pitched voice he usually finds adorable.

"And then Tommy tried to bite the frog's head off, but Mrs. Lawrence stopped him before he could. So Alice got to play on the swing instead while Mrs. Lawrence lectured Tommy. She even called his parents."

"James put a bunch of glue on his hand and even ate some. It was kinda gross watching him peel it all off his hand. Ooh! And also--"

"Clara, I don't care!" Spencer snaps, a cup dropping from his hand and back into the sink causing a loud crashing noise.

Clara jumps back at his raised voice and the cup making contact with the sink. Her doe eyes water, watching her dad rub his forehead, realizing she must be responsible for the pain.

"Sorry." She mumbles, lowering her head, and going to her room.

The small voice snaps Spencer out of his state, the guilt quickly drowning him, and he winces.

"No. Clary..." He calls, but she's already gone. He sighs when he hears her door shut. "Idiot." He mutters, rubbing his eyes.

+++

After making dinner, Spencer goes down the hall to his daughter's room. Wincing, he gently knocks on the door, hating how even that hurts him.

"Clary?" He softly calls. He turns the knob, walking in. His heart aches at the girl curled up in bed, a stuffed octopus held tightly to her chest. "Baby?" He asks, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge of it.

"Hey." He rests his hand on her side. "Clara, I'm really sorry for snapping at you." He tells her. "I-- I didn't mean to. Daddy has a really bad headache, one he's had for months, and I know that's no excuse, but... I really didn't mean to take any of it out on you. I'm sorry, baby."

Clara sits up, facing him.

"Are you dying?" She asks, her eyes filling up with fear.

"No." Spencer shakes his head. "No, baby, I'm not dying. I'm not going anywhere. The headache is just-- it's dehydration or-- or work stress. I promise."

"You should drink water and stop working." Clara says making Spencer softly laugh.

"I wish it were that easy." Spencer says. "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings and-- and making you cry." He frowns at the tear stains on her little cheeks, his heart breaking even more. "Do you forgive me?"

Clara thinks for a moment before nodding. She lets go of the octopus and leans forward, hugging her dad. Spencer tightly hugs her back, letting out a sigh of relief, promising himself to make up for it.

Clara lightly pats Spencer's head, rubbing her hand over his hair. Spencer's lips quirk up at her doing what he does whenever he comforts her.

"I made you mac and cheese." Spencer says. "You can have some Oreos after it."

"Let's go eat." Clara grins, shooting to her feet and Spencer laughs.

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enjoy this short little chapter of cuteness cause emily's death is in the next chapter 😁😁