never grow up, criminal minds

068. guard down

Clara is sitting at her desk, her head resting on her hand while she stares at the book. She was only able to read one page before completely giving up and succumbing to her thoughts.

Clara flinches when there's a knock on her open door, the girl quickly turning and spotting her father.

"What?" She quietly asks, returning to her previous position.

"I'm going to bed. We're having a very long talk tomorrow." Spencer states.

"Yeah, whatever." Clara mumbles, turning the page to pretend she's actually reading.

Spencer quietly sighs, stumped on how to get through to her. He hates when she won't talk, but him prodding her for information only gets her to push him away. He knows something is wrong, he knows she wouldn't hurt somebody without a good reason, he just wishes she would tell him.

+++

Spencer had gone to sleep a few hours ago, Clara checking to make sure he hadn't woken up. She returns to her room, shutting and locking the door. Walking over to her desk, she opens the top drawer and takes the two letters out, placing them next to each other on the table.

She then acts quick, getting a belt out and grabbing the syringe along with the drugs that Brad gave her. Clara ties the belt around her left bicep, pulling it tightly. She fills the syringe up, making sure it's good.

Clara places the needle to her skin, lining it up with her vein. She hesitates, looking over at her wall that's covered in photos. Pictures from when she was a kid to now, with her friends, her family. Izzy, Erin, Luke, the team -- mostly Penelope. Spencer is in most of the pictures, Clara's eyes watering as she stares at father's smiling face from when they were both happier, when she wasn't always shutting him out. Her eyes land on a picture that was taken shortly before she went on the weekend trip with her friends. They were both okay. But neither of them have looked that happy since.

"I'm sorry." She whispers, sniffling. Clara looks down to her arm, injecting the needle and pushing it in. She takes the needle out after emptying the syringe and lets it fall to the floor. She undoes the belt, groaning as she prepares to let the effects take over.

Clara isn't sure how long it took for her to start feeling awful. But now she lies on her floor, groaning at some of the pain as she feels her thoughts start to fade and her vision grows dark.

"Clary?" Spencer knocks on the door, the girl hearing it but it sounds as if she's underwater. "Clara, honey, are you okay?" Spencer can't explain it, but he was woken up with an uneasy feeling twisting around in his gut. The feeling makes him want to puke, his body telling him something's wrong. Following instinct, he immediately made his way to his daughter.

Spencer goes to open the door, but is stopped when the knob doesn't turn.

"Clara, open the door." He orders, urgency now in his voice. "Clara!" He bangs on the door. "Honey, are you in there?"

Not getting a response only makes him feel worse. He backs up a bit, wincing as he's sure he'll fail at what he's about to do. Raising his foot, Spencer harshly kicks the door, swinging it open on the first try.

He doesn't even bother to be shocked at it, instead scurrying into his daughter's bedroom, stopping when he finds her on the floor.

"Clary?" He drops to his knees, brushing her hair back. "Clara? Baby? Hey." He cradles her face, gently shaking her head back and forth. "Baby, talk to me. What happened?" The girl doesn't respond, her eyes shut and her breathing slow.

"Clary, baby, wake up. Come on." Spencer pleads. He looks around for any sign of what caused her state. He freezes when he finds the syringe on the floor. Fumbling for her arm, Spencer raises them both, his heart plummeting when he finds the fresh injection mark on her left arm.