never grow up, criminal minds

023. grief

Clara had spent the first few days after Maeve at Ellie's place, Spencer knowing he didn't have the energy to take care of her. He brought her home after a week, knowing he couldn't leave her there forever and missing her.

Clara walks into the apartment, Spencer following and shutting the door.

"Wow." Clara mumbles, frowning at all the books on the floor, looking over the mess. "What happened?"

"Nothing. It-- it was nothing." Spencer says, walking over to sit on the couch.

"Are you feeling better?" Clara asks, following him. She puts her bag down by the couch before sitting next to him.

"No, not really." Spencer answers.

Clara frowns at his answer. She leans over, tightly wrapping her arms around his middle. Spencer initially doesn't hug her back, but soon wraps one arm around her, resting his head on top of hers.

~ ~ ~

"Daddy, I'm hungry." Clara says, walking over to the couch where her father is still sitting.

"I don't-- we don't have anything. Get some cereal." Spencer says.

"I don't want cereal." The girl whines. Spencer sighs.

"Go pick out something for delivery. Grab whatever restaurant you want." Spencer tells her.

"Can we get pizza?" Clara hopefully asks.

"Sure." Spencer says. "You know how to make the call?"

"Uh-huh." She nods, grabbing the phone and rushing to the kitchen so she can get the number.

+++

After eating and putting a movie on, Clara fell asleep with her head on her dad's lap, Spencer's fingers tangled in her hair as he combed through the soft strands.

Spencer looks down at his daughter, staring at the peaceful expression on her face as she's fast asleep, oblivious to all the pain he's going through. Relaxed in her own state, not a single care in the world.

Spencer twirls the ends of her hair around his fingers, brushing the hair back from her face.

+++

"Daddy, I think we should clean." Clara says. "You're always super uptight about keeping everything clean. Why are there still books everywhere?"

"I don't want to clean." Spencer says.

Clara's expression morphs into a incredulous one, her jaw falling slack as she stares at her father.

"You don't want to clean?" She asks, staring at him in shock.

"No." Spencer says. "Just leave it alone, Clary. Go play or something."

Clara frowns at his dismissal, but sensing she shouldn't bug him, does as she's told.

+++

Clara gets ready for school, pouring herself some cereal and getting orange juice. She peers into the living room, her dad lying on the couch. She frowns, quietly sighing as he hasn't moved much from his spot yesterday.

After finishing breakfast and getting herself ready for school, Clara grabs her backpack and puts the straps over her shoulders.

"Daddy?" She walks over to the couch. "I'm going to school. I'll go get Ellie."

Spencer only nods, looking like he's half asleep, but the depressed look in his eyes only breaks the little eight year old's heart.

"I love you." She tells him, kissing his cheek. She winces at the facial hair he's gained. She frowns as he still doesn't talk. "You need to shave." She remarks, gently patting his cheek.