Hold My Hand

Chapter Three

"How disgusting!

This fakeness makes me wanna throw up!

Even me and my fake self...

I hate this fake smile and sneer, the mask I've put on my face just to show the public, how polite little girl I am! How repellent and nauseating!

We lie constantly as if everything is amazing in our lives, we express the opinions of others! We never say, what we think, what we truly believe! We lie all the time!

Isn't it better not to say anything, just to hide your feelings, but not to lie?!.

May they never understand what is in the heart..."

***

I got up.

I ran to school.

I was changed, completely changed, I didn't care about anything, at all, especially my stupid, imbecile classmates.

I entered the class. I indifferently passed the messy and unbalanced desks and sat down at my own desk.

Everyone looked at me in surprise, not knowing what was wrong with me. I also smiled with self-satisfaction and opened the Russian language textbook again, as if nothing had happened. 

-Hi, Mary!-Alexander greeted me with joy.

-Hello.

-I get it.

-Excuse me?

- You look... different.

- That's right.

- Kind of... more confident? I mean, that's great!

I didn't answer anything. I ran my hand over my dark brunette hair and I stared at the board with a feeling of absolute peace.

Our tutor, Mrs. Manana walked into the classroom again with her 6-inch heels knocking. This time she was wearing a yellow jacket and a long, neon-blue skirt.

- Good morning, dear children! - greeted us. She turned to the board.

 The many, many creases on the blue skirt made me realize that our tutor was traveling by bus.

- Today, as I promised you, you will meet a new classmate.

Blah, blah, blah...

I put my cheek on my arm and stared at Alexander sitting in front of me.

He wasn't too interested either.

The hidden movement of the pen and the deafening growl from the front desk were pretty well noticeable for my sight and earshot.

I knew he was thinking exactly the same.

Or did I?..

 A combination of meaningless words ran through my ears...

- My sweet children! Should I let him in?! Will you make him feel welcome?

- Yes, teacher! - shouted the whole class, which was caused more by obligation than by consciousness.

Disturbed by this stupid situation, I sighed.

- Well, what do you say, let him come in? - asked the tutor again.

"Yes, teacher!"- the sound spread in the

She looked at us suspiciously. "Wait a minute," she said then and walked out of the classroom with her heels clattering on the laminate floor. To my surprise, there was no fluttering of paper planes and books in the quiet classroom.

I had no special expectations. Only football-fan classmates were waiting for the new student, they wanted to persuade him onto their side. I had a severe headache and the seconds seemed like hours. Then what if a new classmate joined us?! Nothing! The tutor was excited as if she were a baby becoming a puppy on her birthday, when a new, most probably another brainless student moved in.

"As if I have nothing else to care about," I thought and...

I froze on my desk.

Then I started sweating, like a mineworker.

The headache got worse. A lot worse.

The class smelled of disappointment and surprise.

The silence of the classmates combined with the noise of the city and the dialogue connected with their eyes sounded like a buzz in my ears.

"Oh shoot!" I said quietly.

- What's the matter?- Alexander turned to me suddenly.

- He's...

- You aren't worried about... Do you know him?

- Yes... maybe, no.

- Who is he?

- Gabriel...