"i love you, and i don't think there was ever a time i didnt.."
alaia rose, a model finds herself questioning her sexuality after bonding with a celebrity.
-intentional lowercase typing
"that's the last of it" the U-Haul guys smiled before closing the truck. the girls and i just finished getting all our things into the new house, i start modeling in a few weeks.
"time to get everything together" i groaned and brought myself inside. there were boxes and furniture everywhere. "let's just start with separating everything, bring your boxes to your room" vic sighed and started organizing the boxes.
finally 5 hours later and we were done. "fucking finally" i laughed and fell back onto my bed where jules was sitting. "this house is really nice" she said looking out the window. "i know im obsessed" i smiled
-
the next morning i got up around 6:40ish and went to sit on the patio. the sun had just began to rise so i of course had to post it.
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"good morning sunshine" i turned around to see rae. "oh my gosh what are you doing here?!" i jolted up and gave her a hug. "i wanted to surprise you, plus i heard about the modeling so i'm gonna stay here for a while" she smiled and i let go of her with an even bigger smile.
i sat back down and she sat beside me, we sat silent for awhile just watching the sunrise and the birds fly around the trees. "this view is beautiful" rae sighed and laid back on the chair.
"hey good morning guys!" vic smiled as she walked out onto the patio. "do you guys want to go out for breakfast, there's a nice place not too far from here" she said sitting next to us. "yea i'll go get the other girls up" i moved myself from the chair and went to wake them up.
- when we got to the cafe we all say together and ordered our drinks. i of course got orange juice. we sat there for awhile just talking and laughing, it felt good to just have an actual laugh for once, i'm so used to faking one especially after everything with billie.
i decided to order a plate of french toast and a side of bacon. "oh my god guys, this is so fucking good" i laughed while stuffing my face with a piece of french toast. "uhm girl you have powdered sugar on your mouth" savannah laughed "holy shit." jules froze and stared at a table behind us. "is that billie eilish?!" she continued and i whipped my head around.
it really was her.. she was standing at a table behind us with finneas and claudia about to get into her seat until she heard jules yell. her and i made eye contact for a quick minute until i rushed up and ran to the bathroom.
no way this is happening.. i haven't seen her since she left my hotel that day, and out of all the days i could possibly see her it's right now when i was finally starting to get better.
i hadn't heard from her, i wanted to prevent any contact between us so after that night i blocked her on everything and left it at that.
i rushed into a stall and locked myself in it just sitting on the toilet. after a few minutes i heard the door open then swing shut. "lei? you in here?" it was billie. i stayed quiet. "alaia i know that's you" she sighed and i watched as her feet approached the stall.
i didn't have any other choice, she knew it was me so i got up and slowly opened the door revealing my tear stained face and billie staring right into my bloodshot eyes. "what do you want billie?" i pushed passed her and stood at the sink, pressing my hands down onto it and lifting my head a little to see myself in the mirror.
"i just wanted to see you?" she questioned me as if i had her fucked up. "just wanted to see me." i nodded my head and scoffed before trying to walk away, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "you don't understand how badly i want to use your head to break this glass, so i suggest you fucking let go of me before i do" i slightly yelled and she let go of me with pure shock on her face and maybe a little bit of sadness, but i don't care she hurt me first so fuck what she feels.
i pushed through the bathroom door and walked back to my table. everyone was just staring at me but i ignored them. not soon after i heard billie behind me "let's go i don't want to fucking eat here" she snapped at finn and claudia. i slightly turned around and watched as they walked out the cafe.
"lei you good?" rae placed her hand on my shoulder and i pushed it away not saying a word. i stood up and placed 30 dollars on the table and stormed outside to the car. i just decided to wait out there until they were done, i didn't want to be around anyone right now.
i reclined my seat and laid back staring at the clouds slowly move by and put my airpods in and played shuffle on todays top hits . i closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep until billies fucking song started playing. i didn't even bother to keep shut it off, i genuinely wanted to hear it.
Lips meet teeth and tongue My heart skips eight beats at once If we were meant to be We would have been by now See what you wanna see But all I see is him right now
I'll sit and watch your car burn With the fire that you started in me But you never came back to ask it out Go ahead and watch my heart burn With the fire that you started in me But I'll never let you back to put it out
before i knew it tears were streaming down my face and sobs exited my mouth. i ripped the airpods from my ears and threw them below me continuously sobbing. "i fucking hate you" i banged the dash board and looked up to see vic standing in front of the car. i gave her a sad look and she rushed over to the passenger side door and opened it, pulling me out and into a tight hug.
billies pov
after seeing alaia at the cafe i fucking shut down, i haven't seen her in so long and then for us to see eachother then. i know she wasn't expecting to see me, she was goofing around with her friends and had powdered sugar on her face.
what is she even doing in LA?
"bil what happened?" claud came into my room and sat on my bed. i just shook my head tryna tell her i didn't want to talk about it "talk to me b." she insisted. i sighed and looked down at my hands "alaia and i kinda used to have a thing. i don't even know but we kissed like 6 months ago when finn and i were at golden bamboo for lunch." i looked up at her and her eyes were wide as fuck.
"earlier that morning i told her i had feelings for her and she completely shut me down then later that day she told me the same and we kissed. after that i shut her out and was mad dry with her because i was scared she really didn't feel the same way and was just confused. a few weeks later i saw her at a party but the thing is she caught me kissing LJ and acted like it didn't bother her at all" i sighed
"then we hung out a week after the party and she basically told me she wanted me all over again and i shut her down telling her i was with LJ" claudia was staring at me speechless.
"does she know you ended things with him?" claud squinted her eyes "no, we barely even got to talk and when i tried to she threatened to put my head through the mirror in the bathroom" i kinda chuckled at the thought.
"you need to talk to her bil, i can clearly see you have feelings for her" she placed her hands on mine. "i want to claud, so bad but she blocked me on everything after that night in Chicago." i sighed and pulled away.
"wait maybe i can text victoria" i stood up and grabbed my phone before texting vic"
