am i what you want?| billie eilish

14.| betrayed

i couldn't tell if she was happy or mad which was really irritating me. she just stood at the door, staring at me with her eyes widened.

"hey b-" i started but was interrupted by her running into me and gripping me into a tight ass hug. "you came." she said through tears. i looked at maggie and nodded then she shut the door and left. "of course i did, i wouldn't miss this. ever." i hugged her tighter then pulled her away from my chest so i could look at her.

"you dyed your hair?" i said wiping a few tears from her cheeks. "yea.. i needed a change, i was sick of the blue anyways." she giggled. "no dye it back i loved my blue hair, blue eyed baby." i whined.

"your baby?" she raised an eyebrow, while looking me in the eyes. "mhm. my baby" i smirked.

"i'm going to kiss you. okay?" she chuckled "okay mamas" i giggled and she pressed her lips against mine.

she put her hands on either side of my face, and the room began to fall away. she pulls away and places two pecks on my lips then grabs my hand to sit on the bed.

"i missed you lei." she whispered and looked down to play with her hands, but before she could i grabbed them and held them tightly. "i missed you too billie, we just needed time. we weren't healthy." i said in the most genuine tone.

"i know" she sighed. "let's talk about it later, yea? right now let's focus on everyone right now" i smiled and pulled her up before heading downstairs.

"finally the love birds are back" finneas yelled and claudia nudged his shoulder "just shut up." she sighed causing billie and i to laugh.

"can we eat? i'm starved" maggie laughed and we all went to the table. "alaia? could you help me grab the food?" maggie said from the fridge and i rushed over to help her. "how'd it go?" she whispered. "good i hope." i sighed and grabbed a few trays of food bringing them to the table.

"who made all of this?" billie asked and maggie pointed at me. "thank you lei" she smiled "of course b" i smiled and sat beside her "okay now dig in because i'm so hungry!" billie yelled and grabbed a plate.

once everyone ate i helped maggie clean up and then we all went into the theater room to watch a movie. "what movie" claudia asked looking through the disks "we have the proposal, 50 first dates" "the proposal! oh my gosh please" i interrupted causing everyone to laugh.

billie and i sat in the back row, sharing a blanket. maggie came in and shut the lights off then everyone's attention turned towards the movie.

"lei?" b whispered and tapped my arm. "mhm" i hummed while slightly turning my head from the screen. "wanna go to our room?" she rose and eyebrow. my eyes widened and i quickly nodded.

she grabbed my hand and we snuck out of the room and upstairs to our room. as soon as i shut the door billie grabbed me by the waist and pulled me close to her, placing our lips together into a heated kiss.

i wrapped my arms around her neck and the smell of her vanilla scented perfume is the only thing i could focus on. we moved backwards towards the bed until billie fell onto it, having me fall on top of her without separating our lips.

i held her waist and her hands roamed around my body, then grabbed ahold of my shirt, gently pulling it off my body revealing my red laced bra.

she continued to let her hands roam as i pulled her shirt off. "you want to do this?" she asked just to make sure. "yes bil" i breathed.

she brought herself to my lips again then tracked kisses down my body, sucking on some spots leaving little red marks. she tracked kissed all the way down my body until she reached my pelvis line then back up to my lips. her arms wrapped around my back and she flipped us over so now i was on top.

"do you want to use the strap?" she whispered. i thought for a minute before nodding, i moved myself off of her while she got up and went to her bag to grab it.

"wait a minute." i said more loudly than i intended. "why the fuck do you have that? you didn't know i was coming billie." my body was consumed with hurt. "billie." i said again and she started to tear up. "no billie. no! you don't get the right to be upset right now." i started to cry

"were you planning on fucking another bitch while here? and don't you fucking lie to me." i got up and grabbed my shirt throwing it over my head. "billie answer me. please" i begged as i moved closer to the edge of the bed. she was sitting in the corner by her bag just staring at me with tears slowly falling from her eyes.

"we broke up alaia and i didn't know what could happen." she started "no. that's not a good excuse billie. you were just gonna up and fuck some random bitch you met out here." i spoke on top of her. "i can't do this alaia." she started wiping her tears and got up off the ground. "billie! stop fucking running away from your problems! this is your fault!"

"don't you think i fucking know that!?" she screamed and grabbed her keys from the dresser, going to open the door. "if you leave this room i won't speak to you again." i looked her dead in the eyes and she opened the door and walked out slamming it behind her.

i was shocked. my body was shaking and tears were flooding my face. the fact that she was going to have sex with someone else disgusted me. the fact that she was about to fuck me with the strap she was planning to use on some random bitch irks the fuck out of me.

i didn't know what to do, my body was fuming with anger, i was exhausted but i couldn't stay in that room. i couldn't even stay here in this house with everyone. i grabbed my keys from the nightstand and slid on my crocs before walking out the bedroom and into the bathroom to clean my face.

i splashed cold water on myself a few times then dried my face off with a hand towel and went downstairs. "hey love where are you going?" i looked up at claudia who was sitting on the couch by herself. i looked around to see if anyone else was down here but nobody else was around. i looked at claudia and automatically broke down.

she rushed off the couch and over to me gripping me into her arms as we sat on the floor by the stairs. "come on love let's go for a drive" she whispered and helped me up, grabbing the keys from my hand.

we went out to the car and she got into the drivers seat while i sat in the passenger seat. "what happened love?" she asked as we pulled out of the driveway. "she was planning on having sex with someone else." she looked at me with her jaw dropped "i'm sorry love" she said with a warm smile and grabbed my hand.

"where are we going?" i looked over at her and wiped my tears. "chic-fil-a! i always go here when i'm upset so maybe it can be our new thing. finneas pissed me off too so i need it." she laughed.

when we got to the restaurant we went through the drive through and go our food then drove to this nice boardwalk near it. "come on" she smiled and we grabbed our thing then went to sit on a bench.

"if you don't mind me asking what happened with finn?" i asked sipping my lemonade. "he just made me mad, he wasn't listening to what i had to say. stupid shit but it pissed me off that's why i was downstairs." she giggled causing me to laugh along.

"do you actually want to explain what happened now? i understand if you don't" i looked up at her and thought. "well basically we were about to use the strap but i realized that she had no idea i was going to show up here so i found out that she was planning on having sex with someone else and when i confronted her she told me it was because we broke up. she was crying then left. i told her if she left the room i'm not talking to her and i am going to stand on that." i shook my head.

"maybe try and hear her out?" she said and i laughed "i was trying to, then she left so obviously she had no better excuse than the fact we broke up" i palmed my face and stood from the table. "can we head back? i'm tired" i yawned and we went back to the car.

when we got back to the house billies car still wasn't there so i went straight to bed, facing the wall.