Long Lost Love

maybe that didnt go as well as planned

Tw: internalized homophobia, slurs, lots of cursing
Gus Pov:

"Ok, so maybe if you tell matt… I'll tell hunter," Willow suggests. I laugh, "like I want you to get with the golden guard." "Well we have to figure out something.

"I'm just gonna tell him," I say. Willow sighs, "Ok. I guess I will, too." "Bye," I say. "Bye," she replies. I close my scroll. I guess I have to tell Mattholomule today.

(Time skip to school)

Go's why is this so fucking scary? I don't know what to say or how to say it or when to. Wait, what if he doesn't like me back? What if he isn't into guy witches? What if he hates me for it. I set down my lunch tray and stare at Matt as he sits next to Willow, who is sitting across from me. I can't focus on anything right now. All day, I wasn't even focused in illusions. I get up and go to the bathroom, and as I walk by him, I drop a note that I wrote this morning after calling Willow. My stomach turns around and feels like it's flipping inside out as I walk closer and closer to the bathroom. I push open the door and just wait.

After a few minutes, Mattholomule also walks in. "You wanted to see me," he says holding up the note.

"Yeah… um… I have something to tell you," I say, slowly. "Ok," he says, "tell me." I start pacing back and forth looking at my feet. "I… u sort of.. I-"

"Oh my fucking Titan. Just spit it out already," I stop at a dead haly, a few feet away from him. I step closer. Now our faces are almost touching. I lean in and try to kiss him. But he pushes me away.

He looks at me disgusted. "What are you, a fucking fag? I knew you were too nice." Then he walks out of the bathroom. I immediately break down in tears. I sit on the floor and pull my knees up to my chest and put my head in them. I cry as stifled as I can so nobody on the outside of the bathroom can hear me.

Matt Pov:

I tear the note up and throw it in the trash walking out the bathroom. Why would he like me? That's actually gross and disgusting. I can't believe I was friends with a homo. "Fucking faggot," I mutter to myself. I walk out the room and before tears start hitting my eye sockets, I tell myself, "boys don't cry. Stop… stop being a fucking pussy." I say as I break down into tears. I can't help it. How come he can be so happy to try to fucking kiss me. "Men don't cry. Fuck. Pussy… tough… toughen up… stop crying," I pull out small pieces of hair and hit myself in the head softly, trying to make myself stop. Through tears, I say, "it's not fair… its.. it's no… it's not fair… it's not.. it's not.."