Blood and Love

Chapter 1: Too many great options

The blade swooshed in the air as the axe got closer to his neck, his eyes betrayed his shock and horror, as he felt the cold metal on his neck as I decapitated him. He blinked one last time and his eyes turned glassy and vacant. I felt a rush of relief wash over me, as I let the axe slip from my hands. I sat down for a little while to enjoy the peace and quiet, lit up my cigarette. As soon as I brought it to my lips for a second time, the relief started fading giving way to shame and horror at what I had one.

This wasn't my first rodeo, the particular emotional cycle I was experiencing had repeated many times over the years since my first kill. The emotions would alternate over the courses of the next few weeks, making me feel euphoric for a hot minute then like the worst person in the world for the next. After a few months, they would fade in the background of my busy life.

This felt like a cycle I couldn't break since that first fateful night, maybe I had locked myself in a situation I could never get out of. Maybe the only murder I should have commited was my first, after all I was morally justified. After my rape a few years back, I was a mess, unable to function, I thought about suicide a lot, but then I read a humorous post online that really struck a cord in me, it said « Why hurt yourself, when you can hurt others ».

So i decapitated my rapist, or rather clumsily attempted to, I had the advantage since he didn't view me as a threat. After checking that he was truly dead, it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I went on with my life. Unfortunately, things don't always go so smoothly, I don't know how or why, but I seemed to attract and be attracted to men exactly like him, like Alec. It felt wrong for a while as I knew exactly what they were, yet I was still draw to them, it made me feel dirty and disgusting. Soon enough though, I realised this disgusting feeling was an opportunity.

I seduced just as they seduced me, showing me only their best side and for a little while, whilst in bed together, the optimist in me would think that I was wrong about them, that I saw something that wasn't there, that the trauma made me paranoid. But without fail, after we slept together, they would do something that revealed who they truly were, pressuring me into something more than I wanted, taking risque pictures to blackmail me with or slip something in my drink.Then I would go around their place or invite them out for a wild night and whilst they jubilated at the thought of what was gonna happen, I would decapitate them.

To me, it satisfied a need, it took men like them off the street, this was an ethical murder.I didn't know anymore whether these men were the ones targeting me and I was justly retaliating or if I was the one hunting them, impatient to satisfy my unquenchable blood thirst.

I buried the body in the woods and went home to drown my sorrows in brandy and poke bowls. The following day, I got ready to go to a singles' night my friend had signed me up for. It was quite the chore as I wasn't anywhere near ready to settle down, but I knew my friend signed me up out of genuine concern for my love life, so I put up with it.

The mingling left me feeling alien, like I didn't belong, just as I was about to give up, my spidey senses started tingling. I turned around to see a beautiful blonde man with vibrant japanese style sleeve tattoos, making his way towards me. We talked and we talked, but most of all we laughed. He was certainly attractive, but I don't quite know if I was attracted to him per se, he had an ethereal kind of beauty. He was charming and timeless like a beautiful painting but most of all he felt off. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, it wasn't that he was like the guys I killed, but he was also different from people at the mixer.

He was cocky right from the get go, assuming I would obviously be attracted to him and yet his assumption didn't bother me. By the end of the night, I had made up my mind to sleep with him. As we were going up to his appartement, we started kissing in the elevator, I pulled on his neckline to be as close to him as possible. Whilst doing so, I caught a glimpse of his skin, it looked mesmerizing, so pearly, I wondered what it would like if blood gushed onto it. He was fiddling with the keys to his loft, when pulled a small knife I always carried. I felt compelled to this by forces outside of my own will, it was like I was seeing myself from outside my body. I came up behind him as he passed the treshold, wrapped my arms around im as if to give him a hug and plunged the blade in his chest not deep enough to kill him, but deep enough to leave a nasty gash.

I heard a melodious laugh and peeked my head into the loft, a woman was sitting on the couch, looking at us, amused she said « It seems I picked the right moment to come over neighbor, now who is this pretty little thing that is so eager to play ? ». Before I could fully register her words, the man pulled me into the appartement and shut the door behind me. I was mortified of what I had done, he (Silas) wore the same expression as the woman even as blood was staining his white shirt, he didn't look in pain at all.

While stuttering, I said « I'm sorry, I don't know what overcame me, I never do this, I-I-I'm sorry ». He smiled sarcasticaly, before lifting his shirt, I could see the wound visibly shrinking and healing under my own eyes and that terrified me. What had I done ? Who were these people ? What was gonna happen to me. He must sensed that I was ready to run, because he put a reassuring arm over my shoulders and whispered in a velvety voice « Don't worry, little star, as soon as I saw you, I could smell the killer on you. Though, I didn't think you'd get to business so quickly. You stab quite nicely, but not firmly enough for it to be something you do regularly. So tell me, what's your poison ? ».

I turned around to look at the woman, she was quite stunning, luscious brown hair, brown skin, pools of chocolate you could drown into and nice geometrical and flower tattoos all over her body. I didn't know how to act, wether to be scared or aroused so I did the only thing that I could, I answered the question.

« You like the thrill of the kill don't you little star ? I could show you a million worlds of dark fantasies, we could love, slash and kill together. I heal pretty fast after all, you could do so many things with. You could learn how to be a better lover and a better killer through me » he said as he licked his lips seductively.

The woman got off the couch, put her face close enough for me to feel her hot breath on my lips and murmured to the both us « You heard the oman, Silas, she prefers decapitation, you can't heal from that. But I can always grow another head, so maybe you, feisty one, should be with me. »

Her offer aroused something in me, I always thought I was straight, but his woman made me doubt it. Both offers sounded so tempting , they made my head spin with possibilities. It seems I got more than I bargained for, on one hand I wanted to continue what me and Silas started, on the other, this beautiful woman's lips were so close to mine, it felt like a crime not to kiss her.

Options, options, too many options and I had no idea what to do, I needed a cool head to think about hi. I needed to get out of there beofre being swept up by all my desires. I backed up, leaving a little breathing room between us, before everything become too hot and heavy for me to focus or think. I bid them adieu, after explaining that I needed to think about which offer to accept. They accepted quite graciously and we exchanged numbers to schedule when we would meet up to discuss this.

As I was leaving, Silas kissed me passionately like he was starving and I was his only substenance. Before leaving, I kissed Salome too, it was only fair after all. It started as a small peck that turned into a deep kiss, where grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into her.