TDASR; Book 3 (Total Drama All-stars: Retreat)

5

"Malibu? What are you doing here?" My dad asks.

What am I doing here? It's 3am, my friends are at my home sleeping, I snuck out of my own house to come to this hotel to see my father. I tried to have a good time with my friends today, even after they told me about Gwen. I tried not to think about it, I tried to play it cool, that it's no big deal that my "good" friend betrayed me. Truth is, I am suffocating. I feel like my entire world is crumbling all around me. I look at my father, he looks at me worryingly. His eyes are wide. My father betrayed me, too... Yet, here I am at his hotel room. When I was a kid, a hug from him could fix anything... Now, I'm not so sure.

This was a mistake.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here," I say quietly before I turn to walk away.

"Wait," he says as he gently grabs my arm. "I can't just let you leave, not like this. Why don't you come inside?"

I hesitate.

"...ok."

I slowly walk inside. I plop down on his bed. I frustratingly rest my head in my hands. I can't hold it in anymore. I am so embarrassed. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. I feel like a dumb b1tch. I keep getting hurt by these people who I thought genuinely cared about me. I went on national television risking it all for these people, for our friendship.

"Mali," my father says.

He wraps his arms around me. I rest my head on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" He asks. "Is something wrong with your mother? Is Warner alright?"

"Everyone is fine," I say with a sniff.

"Then what's wrong?"

"I spoke to Bridgette and Leshawna today. The reason why Gwen has been avoiding me is because she's seeing Duncan."

"What?" My father says shocked.

"Yes. Duncan and Courtney are done for good, and now him and Gwen are trying to make it work."

"Oh, Malibu. I am so sorry," he says as he caresses my hair.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask him.

"Of course."

"When I spoke to Trent, he said that Gwen and Duncan lied to me back on "Action." You watched the season, what did I miss?"

He sighs.

"It was odd. The way he interacted with her when you weren't around. It reminded me of me and your mother when we were friends, before we got into a relationship- Something toxic waiting to happen. I didn't want to believe it, that nagging thought in the back of my mind. You're so good, Mal. I couldn't understand how any guy could hurt you, or how someone who was suppose to be your friend could betray you like that."

"She was my best friend," I say quietly. "It was always Gwen, Malibu, Courtney, Leshawna, and Bridgette. And then Action happened and everything fell apart. Everyone thought Trent was insane, but he was right the entire time."

"He did seem a little... Unhinged."

Trent was right. Trent was right, and Gwen broke up with him and got him eliminated. I'm furious for him. Even today, he is still labeled as a psycho because of her. I thought Gwen was my friend, I thought she truly had my back. Turns out, it was Trent all along. I stopped speaking to him because of Gwen, we all did. I can't say I'm angry, and I can't say I'm sad, because truthfully, I'm everything. Mostly, I grieve for my younger self. Eighteen year old Malibu wanted friendship, she wanted something real, and what did she get? She got her heartbroken. Her trust was broken. She was humiliated.

"I know you're upset about your friend," my father says carefully. "But I watched both seasons of that show. I can't help but think that Gwen isn't the only one you're upset with..."

"Duncan," I finish for him.

I don't know how many times I've said his name out loud since I saw him that night at the Gammies- not much. I've avoided him, I've avoided this show, for as long as I could. Those first few months after signing with Nike was hell. My dream came true, yet I couldn't go outside, I couldn't go on social media, I couldn't do anything without hearing his name! Gwen knew what I went through, and that's what makes this so much worse.

"How could he do this to me?" I sob.

My dad holds me closer.

"He promised me that he wouldn't hurt me," I continue. "He promised me that he would never betray me and get with Gwen, he swore that Trent was crazy. I cared so much for him, how can he just embarrass me like that? And with Gwen? Does he really hate me that much?"

"I don't think he hates you, I actually think he's doing all of this because he wants you back."

"That's so stupid," I actually laugh a little.

"It is. He's an idiot. I should know, I am a former idiot myself."

I let out a snort. Ok, that was kinda funny.

"So what? I should just move on? Forgive him and Gwen and act like I'm ok?"

"No," he says honestly. "I think you should be honest with your yourself and with everyone else. I think you should stop avoiding this and admit that you're hurt, and you never stopped hurting."

I look down. I don't know if I can do that. I mean, even speaking to him about any of this puts me in a panic. I love my father, and I wish I could just move on and be his daughter again, but let's face it, he broke my heart before Duncan did. I'm just so confused right now.

"Last time I did that..." I start. "I just don't know. It's hard."

"I know. And sadly, I didn't make it any better."

I look down. He's right, he didn't... But unlike Duncan, Gwen, even Chris McLean, my father promised he'd never hurt me again, and so far he hasn't. He's actually been here with me every step of the way. Even when I yelled at him, even when I told him to go away. Same with Warner. That day I found out that Warner told the producers about my father and that conference, I said some horrible things to him- things that should never come out of a persons mouth regardless of the situation. And yet, here he is, managing my career, and he still is my best friend. Maybe I should be honest with myself, and with him, my dad...

"Dad, I-"

I'm cut off by my phone ringing.

"Hello?"

"Where the h3ll are you?!"

"Who is that?" My dad whispers.

"It's Leshawna."

"Mal, don't tell me you snuck off to meet some guy! Do you know how worried we are? Bridgette almost called the cops-"

"I'm fine," I cut her off. "I'm sorry that I worried you two. I'm actually with my dad right now."

"Your dad? Is he ok? Are you ok?"

I am not ok, but I'm not going to rehash everything to her over the phone, especially with my father right here.

"Listen, I'll explain everything later. I promise I'll be home soon."

"Ok," she says understandingly. "Well, Warner texted me. He's been trying to contact you."

I look at my phone. 3 missed calls. Something in the pit of my stomach falls. What can be so important that he has to call me at almost 5am?

"Ok," I tell her.

We say our goodbyes and I quietly hang up. I sigh.

"Everything ok?" My dad asks.

"I don't think so... Would you mind coming to my house. I have a guest bedroom. You don't have to if you don't want to, I just thought-"

"I'd love to. Are you sure?" He asks hesitantly.

I breath in deeply. He's never been to my house before. I haven't had the heart to let him in, literally and figuratively.

"Yes, I'm sure."

...