can you see me? / purinz

the creature from the black lagoon

The next day, the girls take two cars to the Nippon TV studio for the year-end music show. Chaewon is the last one out of the hotel, stumbling through her morning routine while the other girls call through the door for her to hurry up. She was awake all night, replaying Yunjin's words in her head and staining the pillowcase with tears, and it's only now that the sun has risen that fatigue is starting to hit her. She gets into the car where Eunchae is waiting and the maknae's eyes widen at the sight of her.

"What's wrong?" Chaewon mumbles, willing her eyes to stay open, "You look like you just saw a ghost."

"Um, Chaewon, did you....have you...."
Chaewon raises her eyebrows, "Have I what?"

"Um, did you sleep last night?" Eunchae asks, voice squeaking.

"Not really. Is it obvious?"

Eunchae pulls out her phone and turns it towards Chaewon so she can see herself in the camera. Her hair is a mess, her eyelids are drooping, her face is flushed from splashing it with cold water in a futile attempt to wake herself up, but that's all fine. It's nothing makeup and coffee can't fix. The real problem is her eyes. All her time crying instead of sleeping has turned the whites of Chaewon's eyes an alarming shade of red. She looks like the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

"What do I do?" She looks up at Eunchae, panic quickly overtaking her exhaustion.

"Maybe they can give you contacts?" Eunchae offers.

Chaewon runs her hands through her hair, trying not to freak out in front of the maknae.
"What happened last night?" Eunchae asks, "Why did Yunjin come to my room?"

Chaewon stops, caught off guard by the question, "We had a little bit of a fight."

"I heard what she told you in the hallway," Eunchae says softly.

"Yeah?" Chaewon swallows, "What do you think?" Eunchae is like Chaewon, born and raised in Korea. She holds her breath for the youngest girl's answer.

"Are you guys going to be girlfriends now?"

Chaewon smiles wryly, "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Like I said, we had a fight," Chaewon says gently, "I don't think Yunjin wants to be girlfriends."

"But she said she was in love with you."

"She didn't seem very happy about it, though," Chaewon points out.

"Why did you guys fight?"
"I..." Chaewon's face burns with shame, "I made a mistake. I broke her trust."

"But she still loves you," Eunchae insists.

Chaewon shakes her head, "I don't know."

"She was up all night last night," Eunchae says, "She kept looking at the door like she was waiting for you to come get her."

Chaewon frowns, "She told me to leave her alone."

Eunchae just shrugs, turning to look out the window as they drive the streets of Tokyo. Chaewon sinks lower in her seat, reflecting on the youngest girl's words and the events of the night before.

They arrive at the studio and Chaewon's attempts to hide her bloodshot eyes from the other members fail miserably. Sakura shrieks and hides behind Kazuha, meanwhile Yunjin barely notices the commotion, staring at the ground with her lips pressed tightly together. It doesn't seem quite fair to Chaewon that after the night they had Yunjin still looks angelic, her exhaustion only making her face softer and prettier, meanwhile Chaewon looks like Natalie Portman at the end of Black Swan . As soon as the manager sees the state that Chaewon is in he escorts her to a small room, more of a closet than anything with nothing but a table and a chair inside, and instructs her to sleep. She sits down and slumps onto the table, her exhaustion finally catching up with her.