can you see me? / purinz

the end

"Wait, wait, wait," Chaewon breathes, resting her hands on her knees as they crest yet another hill, moving farther and farther from the city center.

"What's wrong?" Yunjin says, turning around with nothing but a rosy blush on her cheeks while Chaewon fights for her life.

"My legs are smaller than yours," Chaewon complains, "How much longer do we have to go?"

"We're almost there," Yunjin promises. "Here." She crouches on the ground so Chaewon can climb onto her back, standing and adjusting before resuming the walk. Chaewon buries her face in blonde hair, chest rising and falling as she fights back exhaustion.
"Go to sleep, Pupu," Yunjin says softly, "I'll wake you when we get there."

"I'll be too heavy," Chaewon protests, "And what if I accidentally let go and flop to my death?"

"I won't let you fall," Yunjin promises, shifting forward so more of Chaewon's weight rests on her back although her legs must be killing her. The last thing Chaewon notices before she drifts off is the sweet smell of perfume on Yunjin's skin.

Chaewon blinks awake when Yunjin sets her down, the cold metal of a park bench shocking her bare legs. It's a kind of quiet you don't normally hear in the city, interrupted only by the rustling of wind through the trees and the soft sound of Yunjin catching her breath as she sits down. In front of them the Han River stretches in both directions, and for a moment Chaewon forgets she's in Seoul at all.

"Did you sleep well?" Yunjin finally asks, fixing Chaewon's beanie which got knocked out of place during her nap.

Chaewon nods, still only half awake. The cool air coming off of the water is the only thing reminding her that this isn't a dream, she really is here next to Yunjin and it won't all disappear when the sun rises.

"How long were you carrying me?" Chaewon lays a hand on Yunjin's leg as if to examine it for overexertion.

"Not long," Yunjin reassures her, and Chaewon's sure it's a lie.

"I told you that if you gave me a chance I'd take good care of you," She remembers, "But you're the one who's been taking care of me."

"It's enough for you to just be here," Yunjin says. "I used to dream of being with you like this."

Chaewon looks over and the younger girl is staring at her own shoes, her face flushed from the bite of the cold air and the heat between them.

"When did you know you liked me?" Chaewon asks.

"When I sang with you," Yunjin admits, "Into the New World. From the first time I saw you, you were ridiculously pretty. I could never talk to you the way I wanted to. I just couldn't get the words out. But when we sang together and I looked into your eyes, I felt like I knew you and like...like we were connected somehow. Like I didn't have to force out a confession for you to understand how I felt. I spent all those years wondering if you felt the same thing. I had an awful crush on you, I really did. I imagined that maybe you felt the same about me because I would have died if I didn't imagine it. I survived off of delusion alone."

"I remember that song," Chaewon murmurs, lost in the memory of the stage lights and Yunjin's voice soaring above the melody, "You were so pretty, Yunjinnie. I hated you a little bit for being so pretty. I couldn't understand at the time why I suddenly became this jealous, angry person. Looking back, I don't think it was jealousy exactly. You gave me this terrible feeling in my stomach. I felt completely sick about you. I didn't understand anything back then. Honestly, I didn't understand anything for the longest time. When I met you again that day in the practice room, I felt that sickness in my stomach again and it sent me into a crisis. I kept telling myself: I'm Kim Chaewon. I don't need to be jealous of her just because she has big eyes and nice lips and a pretty voice. Then I got so freaked out by accidentally thinking about your lips that I just pushed it out of my mind and didn't acknowledge it again for like a year. I really was going through it."