Everything Has Changed: The Lost Years

Chapter 3: Adjusting

"Babe, I'm leaving, I must be on my way,

The time is drawing near,

My train is going, I see it in your eyes,

The love beneath your tears..."

Quasi sang quietly, sitting on the floor between his bed and the wall, a safe little space where he felt like he couldn't be disturbed. Strumming his guitar, the open window carrying a warm breeze in, his homework books scattered on the floor, he let himself be distracted by bittersweet memories of the year before. He felt like he could relax enough now to appreciate just how much his life had changed, how much he'd lost as well as gained. And as always, one face was at the front of his mind, a face he couldn't stop seeing, just flashes of her hair or her smile in the crowded hallways at school or in class. It always gave him a jolt of happiness when it happened, and deflated him when he realised it was just his eyes playing tricks on him. 

"Leave yourself open to new experiences," his therapist told him, gazing at him over the top of her glasses, her eyes kind. "Your life has so much potential. It's going to take time, of course, but trying new things will help you move on from the past."

And it was good advice, of course it was. But some things he didn't want to forget. Some people he couldn't.

"But I'll be lonely without you,

And I'll need your love to see me through,

So please believe me, my heart is in your hand,

And I'll be missing you..."

He could picture exactly how she would look at him, playing this song to her. He remembered the way she looked the first time, eyes wide and cheeks pink, for some reason completely enamoured by his voice. It made him flustered then and it made him ache now, remembering how much she had liked him. For whatever reason, one he couldn't really fathom, a girl had been smitten with him and his feelings for her had been returned. And of course, they had been separated, because he wasn't allowed to have nice things.

Well. That was a little ungrateful. He had nice things right now. Quasi sighed and rubbed his eyes, frustrated with himself for the selfish thought. Of all the things that could make him bitter, when he was living in a wonderful home with lovely new parents and had so many possibilities at his fingertips...

Footsteps in the hallway made him stiffen, and his breath caught in his throat, glancing down at the forgotten homework and realising he'd gotten too distracted. He would get in trouble if he was caught, he was sure. There was a tap on the door as he shoved his guitar under the bed, and hurriedly gathered up the scattered pages, calling out a flustered "Come in!" as he tried to make himself look busy.

Paul opened the door, giving him a friendly smile. "Hey, buddy. Thought I'd check in on you. How's it going?"

"Um..." Quasi looked down at the upside-down pages in his hand and hurriedly flipped them over, looking for a pencil. "F-fine... just doing homework..."

Paul nodded and came in, picking up a pencil from the floor and handing it to him with an amused look in his eye. "Good job. Do you need any help with it?"