Everything Has Changed: The Lost Years

Chapter 16: Starting Small

Quasi knew nothing about dating, but he was doing his best to make up for it.

He really wanted to make Maddy happy. Sure, she had been the one pursuing him and all but begging him to ask her out, but he was always worried that he would disappoint her, that she would look at him one day and come to her senses and realise that she didn't want to be with someone like him. He knew this wasn't a good way to think. But it was hard to let go of the constant anxiety in the back of his mind that one day, all the good things he had would disappear.

So, he tried his best to be a good boyfriend, whatever that was. Barbara had told him that girls liked small gestures and a little effort. Paul told him to listen to her, and pay attention to hints. So Quasi asked questions and let Maddy ramble as she liked to do, fascinated by everything she had to say. He gave her things so that she would know he was thinking about her- flowers after all of her nights as Maria, coffee at lunch, bits of poetry on scraps of paper. The coffee was particularly important to him- Mich had shared her coffee with him, and he had treasured that. He hoped it made Maddy feel cared about as well.

And all of his quiet efforts seemed to be paying off. He saw Maddy every day now- instead of floating between lunch tables, their friends groups had combined and they sat together at lunch now. She seemed enthusiastic when she texted him, and she wanted to go on more dates with him when he asked. They'd spent a good many afternoons making out in cinemas now. Quasi found this all a little too good to be true, but he wasn't going to waste the precious opportunity he'd been given to be this happy.

And he was happy. So, so happy. So happy that he felt guilty about it sometimes, when a flashback of Mich would interrupt the giddy mood that a text from Maddy would put him in, or when she offered him a sip of her coffee and he'd remember when Mich had done the same. Back then, Mich had been the one putting in the effort. He hadn't been able to do the things he could do now. But he wished he could have.

But Mich wasn't here, and he couldn't dwell on the past. That's what everyone had been telling him. He was trying. And Maddy made it easier.

"Maddy's a sweet girl. You should ask her over for lunch on Saturday," Barbara suggested one day, on the way home from school. "I'd like to get to know her better."

Quasi tried to hide his smile, glancing out of the window. "Really?"

She nodded. "I saw her mother a few days ago. She had only good things to say about you. I was very glad to hear it. You've visited her house a few times and I think it's time to return the favour."

Any excuse to see Maddy outside of school was a welcome one. So Quasi agreed and sent her a text, and the lunch was arranged.

* * * * * *

Quasi couldn't ignore the fact that the last time a girl had come to his home, he'd been living under the thumb of his father. Mich had crawled through his bedroom window many times, witnessed horrors he wished she had never seen, and comforted him on dark, difficult nights. But this time was completely different. His foster parents would get to see the girl he liked and they would love her, he already knew. He couldn't deny that it felt a little like showing off, but he was sure Maddy wouldn't mind that.

Maddy looked like a dream when she arrived on Saturday morning. Her usual edgy style had been swapped for a softer look- a knee-length dress in place of her short skirts and shorts, a soft green cardigan in place of her leather jacket. Quasi couldn't imagine this version of Maddy partying the way he had seen her do. She obviously wanted to make a good impression.

Immediately, she and Barbara seemed to be the best of friends. "I'm so happy to officially meet you," Maddy gushed, eagerly accepting Barbara's hug. "You do so much for the community, and I admire both of you so much for what you've done for Quasi."