Everything Has Changed: The Lost Years

Chapter 15: Koi No Yokan

"Five minutes, Madellaine. Are you ready?"

Maddy turned from the mirror in the cluttered corner backstage, trying to smooth down a curl of hair that wouldn't stay put. She gave a hurried smile to Mr Spencer, nodding quickly. "Yep. Just a second."

He nodded in return, and she turned back to the mirror, although she could see that he hadn't left yet. In the silence between them, she could hear the loud chatter of the audience beyond the curtain, packed into the school hall, students and adults eager for the show to begin. The weeks and weeks of rehersals every lunchtime, and this last week, after school as well, had all led up to this. A show she hadn't even intended to join, but here she was.

"I just want you to know that I'll be submitting my recommendation to the school regardless of how things go tonight. Your hard work these last few weeks has been exceptional. So you can relax out there. Break a leg."

Mr Spencer checked his watch and left before she could thank him, and Maddy let out a long breath, staring at herself in the mirror. The recommendation to the New York Film Academy. The whole reason she agreed to join the show in the first place. Mr Spencer was an alumnus of her dream school- and had been in need of a lead for this year's musical. They had agreed to an exchange. And now she was about to play Maria in front of hundreds of people. She had never been so nervous, which was strange for her. It had taken years to cultivate her 'cool girl' image, unaffected by anything, but this was really pushing it.

A lot of things were pushing it, these days. The musical, her grades, her new boyfriend. God, the way her friends had laughed and teased when she had started hanging around him. They hadn't cared when she dated someone much too old for her, or a girl, but Quasi was pushing the envelope too far for them, apparently. A boy who looked like that, unlike anyone else she had ever seen, all squashed up like a clay doll someone had stepped on, but with such bright, soulful eyes... how could she resist?

She'd known a little about him, when school had started. His foster parents were well known in town for their selfless spirits and their good intentions, and Quasi wasn't the first person they'd sent to their school. But Quasi was the first person who she'd felt an immediate connection with due to their similar traumas. Okay, sure, her emotional and mental abuse with a side of wandering hands didn't really measure up to a lifetime of beatings when she measured them side by side, but she still felt like he was someone she could relate to. She'd fought her way through the anger and self-hatred and the feeling that she was undeserving of good things and come out on the other side defiantly confident, and she hoped to see the same thing happen to Quasi, who was so shy and overwhelmed and looked like a deer in headlights whenever attention was shown to him.

Not that she could explain this to anyone besides him. While she was confident, she didn't feel understood by her friends. Maybe she needed to work on being more open with them. Or maybe she needed new ones.

The band started up on the first notes of the opening song, and Maddy startled, licking her hand and running it through her slicked-back hair in a last-ditch effort to smooth down the strays. Her skirt whirled around her as she headed for the stage, nodding as she listened for her cue, breathing slow and deep. And then, out onto the stage she ran, illuminated by spotlights, and started to sing.

For a moment she was too nervous to look at anyone in the audience, and sang to the back of the hall, but as she found her stride in the song, and didn't have to concentrate so hard, she let her eyes wander the faces in the seats below her, until she found that shock of red hair. She smiled, as Quasi gazed up at her with wide eyes and a proud smile, a bunch of flowers in his lap. For her, no doubt, after the show- he was so sweet, that adorable boy. He'd watched her reherse this countless times, but he still watched her perform with such an expression of wonder, like it was the first time. It made her spirits rise and she finished the song as strong as she had started, turning as the church bells rang out and she ran off the stage, allowing for the scene to change.