All By Myself

21. Princess

Josh was in a coma for a total of 3 days. I spent every night with him at the hospital. In the mornings, I would wake up and make my way to school. School just wasn't the same without Josh hovering over my shouldering or picking on me.

I missed him so much. Today while in Mr.Bald's class I got the call that he was awoken. That made my day. Straight after school I made my way to the hospital but not before stopping to Footlocker to buy a Miami Heat beanie. Josh had passed by the window everyday after school and talked about how much he wanted that beanie so I decided to get it for him.

I walked inside the hospital and went through the normal routine which included getting my visitor's pass. I made my way to the hospital room and as soon as I walked in I couldn't help but cry. I was feeling almost every emotion.

"Don't cry for me. I mean I know your madly in love with me and all but.." Josh jokes smiling that million dollar smile.

"So I see the oh so great sense of honor hasn't changed." I say trying to smile through tears.

I walked over to his bed and grabbed his hand. "I'm so happy your okay." I say smiling. " I was so worried about you."

"Thanks..for everything." he says sqeezing my fingers.

"I was here with you every day and night, you know?"

"Yea. I heard. The nurses said they couldn't pay you to get you to go home." he says cracking up.

"It's not funny. I was worried sick."

"Aww, so you actually do care?" he says sarcastically.

"Of course." I say ignoring his sarcastic tone.

Josh looked at me with those big brown beautiful eyes and I couldn't think of no other place I would rather be. Before I knew it my head was slowly traveling toward his. His face was so close to mine, lips so close to mine. Just as our lips were about to meet...

"Heyyyyyy!" Mari and Lala burst through the door.

Leave it up to these two to reunion a good moment. Wait, were me and Josh actually about to ... kiss? Oh. My. Gosh.

"Did you even hear me?" Lala says with a fake attitude.

"Umm..Yea. Sure" I say lying. I was to busy attending to my thoughts.

"Aww, Lala I think we should give these two love bugs some alone time and anyways momma cooking Sunday dinner tonight and greedy ol' uncle Thomas loves to eat. He likes a fish. His brain never tells him to stop eating so we need toget going or else we'll strave tonight."

They said there goodbyes. After they left it suddenly became this awkward tension between Josh and I.

"So. Um ...Yea" Josh says at a lost for words. I think that its just hit him that us two, Josh and Cassie, were actually about to kiss.

"I think I should get going now." I say hugging him and walking out.

I walked outside the hospital. My plan was to walk hone since I only lived about 5 blocks from there and anyways I needed the exercise. The extra pieces of fried chicken are not helping my weight at all.

I was not fat or even thick. I was actually skinny but I like to believe I'm thick. Hey, if I don't believe who will?

Just as was about 2 blocks away from the hospital an all to familiar car pulled u stopping on the side of me.

"Wassup Princess." He smiles. "Did you think about my offer?"

"Actually ,yes" I say.

"And.." he smiles as if he just knows I'm about to say yes my marvelous knight in shining armor who I love so much. I would be honored to be able to be called yours again.

"Thanks but not thanks." I say in the nicest way possible. I mean there isn't really a nice way to reject someone.

"You have got to be f***ing kidding me" he swears angrily. I have never seen him this mad. I stand there with a dumb founded look on my face "Uh.." is all I could utter.

"Is this because of that Josh boy? What is it that he has that I don't have? That's exactly why he's in the position he's in." He says half-screaming.

Did I just here that correctly. Only immediate family knows about Josh being in the hospital so how could Chad know?

"Excuse me?" I say.

"Princess, something's you'll never understand." He says speeding off.

*

*

I sat down on my bed thinking over the long day I had had and a lot of other things like about what Chad said, about that strange dream, about that awful man who raped me.

Could it be that the same person who raped was the same person who killed Larry? Could it be that Chad and his friends jumped Josh over jealously? So many questions but yet I still have NO answers.

I was just about to turn on the TV to relax my mind when I got the call from Josh's mother asking me to go shopping with her. This was the for time Ms.Smith had ever asked me out on such a ocassion so I knew this had to do with more then shopping. I got dressed and we headed to Dolphin Mall.

We walked around looking at nice littles outfits, buying things, and talking before we decided to go get something to eat.

We decided on going to a Chinese restaraunt at the food court inside the mall.

"So how are things?" she asks.

"Things are good. I tried out to become a cheerleader" I grin proudly.

"I always knew you were either going to her or dance. You are so flexible like a little rubber band and always so hyper." she laughs.

Her face suddenly turns from a grin to a serious firm expression. "The real reason I brought you here is, " she starts and takes s brief pause. "Is because of Josh and what happened. Turns out your ex boyfriend Chad was the cause behind this. He called a group of his friends to do this to Josh" she says getting emotional.

I looked shocked. I know I thought Chad do this but I never actually thought he would ever do this foreal. What happened to the Chad I used to know? I look at her almost heart broken. This is basically my fault Josh had to go through that. Chad's my ex so I basically bought him into Josh's life.

I know she must have been hurting to see her son laying on a hospital bed not even knowing whether he would even wake up or not.

"I'm so sorry." I say.

"Josh explained everything to me and this isn't your fault sweetheart. We have decided not to press charges against Chad or any of his friends though."

"Okay." I say almost lost for words. Even though she says this isn't my fault it sure enough feels like it.

Will Josh even want go talk to me ever again after this? ...

*

*

MONDAY

Today was Josh's first day back to school since his coma. I walked into the cafeteria to see him sitting by himself. He looked as if he was thinking. I took a seat next to him.

"I know your mad at me--"

"Cassie" he interrupts.

"Let me finish at least. Okay, so I know your mad and I don't blame you -- "

"Cassie" he interrupts again.

I sign and continue. "As I was saying I know your mad and you have every right --"

BOOM. He plants his lips on mine and a feeling like no other shots through my body.

"Well that was a nice way to tell me to shut up." I smile uncontrollably while feeling the red rose to my cheeks.

"I'm not mad. Its not your fault." he smiles that million dollar smile at me. Its just so perfect.

He took his hand into mine and I lay my face into His neck. We stayed like this unto the bell rung.