Chapter 4

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After we landed in Jakku, Kate had clearly avoided me as we went to go look for parts. I wanted to make peace with Kate. If I wanted any chance to get close to Alice, I needed to be nice and make peace with Kate first.

Jakku was a planet full of sand, it was hot. I never went to another planet outside of the planet, Mustafar where Viscount had raised me. Jakku was only a planet to get parts. Alice had warned me that besides that, it was a place nobody wanted to live but some did because a lot of people were sold into slavery there and the rest were born into the planet.

"She still doesn't like me." I whispered in Alice's ear.

"Just give her time," Alice whispered back. "She'll eventually give you a chance."

"Do you really think so?" I asked and raised an eyebrow at her.

"I know so." Alice responded.

"I hope you're right."









After we got back to the ship, I was tired and ready for bed. I needed to sleep and I needed a fresh new start. But as much as I wanted a fresh start, I knew I did not deserve it. I killed Han Solo. I deserve to die. Why did my long lost brother let me live? Has he told others of me and my sins? Why am I alive? I deserve to die. I thought and closed my eyes.












I faced Han, Rey, a Wookie and another man I didn't know. "Ben..." I heard Han, my father say.

"Your son is dead." I lied.

"No," Han murmured. "Kylo Ren is dead. My son is alive."

"I'm being torn apart," I teared up. "I want to be free from this pain." Han stared into his son's eyes. I felt like I was getting stung.

I felt envy. Why would he call me that name? Does he really think I'm dead or does he just favor my brother? I thought to myself. Han and I walked closer to each other until we were inches away.

"I know what I have to do but I don't think I have the strength to do it." I mumbled. I didn't want to betray my brother's request but part of me still believed Viscount's lie. He doesn't want me. Han extended his hand and held out his hand, asking me to turn.

I had to protect Han but my jealously and hatred towards my parents took over. I turned on the lightsaber and stabbed Han Solo. Han gasped for a moment but then touched my cheek with sadness and remorse. I saw Han Solo as I stabbed him with no emotion. But Han looked at me, who he thought was Ben and touched my cheek again. I felt instant guilt for my crime. What have I done?

Seeing Han triggered too much pain. And as I let him go to fall then I heard Rey scream as the Wookie who was Chewbacca, Han's best friend shot at me. I felt bad. Not only did I kill my own father but now Kylo would get blamed for it. I looked up as I saw the girl crying.

I shed a tear. I wanted to run away and disappear as if I never existed. As if I were really dead. As soon as I reunited with my brother in secret, I knew I was in trouble. He is going to hate me. I am as good as dead. I betrayed him and I am sure he knows by now since he is force sensitive. 

Then flashes of white, blinded me. I was in the middle of nowhere, in the woods and I noticed two figures. My eyes widened as I saw their faces. They had my face and they were arguing. Then lighting appeared and the dark sky began to rain. 

"What did I say?!" Kylo shouted getting in my face.

"I--I'm sorry. I don't know what to say." I replied. Kylo turned on his lightsaber and aimed it towards me.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now." Kylo growled. The only thing he had left good in him was his parents. Now it's his mother and he feared that I would take her too. I felt his pain.

"Kylo... I can't... I'm so sorry... I let my jealousy take over me. I didn't focus on the mission. I should have."

"You promised me that you'd leave them alone. Because of you my father's dead." Kylo replied as he teared up.

"He's my father too and he just left me and kept you!"

"I grew up watching them miss you. They had a grave just for you and we'd visit on our birthday every year to respect your memory. They loved you." Kylo cried.

I am so, so, sorry. I wish I could take it back.  I thought to myself. 

"You know what?" Kylo asked as he turned off his lightsaber. I stayed quiet in sadness and in fear of what punishment he had in mind for me. In this moment, I had wished that I was dead. "You're not worth it. I want you to live the rest of your life suffering and feeling guilty because I feel it too. Because of you, I lost my father and now Rey might hate me."

"Since when do you care about Rey?" I asked, suspiciously and raised my eyebrow. 

"Leave and never come back or I will kill you." Kylo warned.

I quickly realized I was watching my memory as tears fell down my cheeks as the shock and shame washed over me and the memory diaspeeared and I saw the girl who was with Han, Rey lay on the ground.

"Rey!" I shouted as I ran to her side and shook her body, she continued to lay therr lifeless.

Then a man who looked like me crawled to her body, ignorning me as if I wasn't there. He pulled her in and hugged her body close to him. Then he laid her on his lap.

"Kylo?" I breathed and watched him. He touched her stomach. "Kylo, what are you doing?" I asked and raised an eyebrow.

But after a minute or two, she came back to life and touched his hand and sat up and they looked at each other.

"Ben?" Rey whispered and smiled as she touched his cheek and then she pulled him in for a kiss and it lasted for what seemed like forever and they then slowly pulled away.

"Why am I seeing this?" I asked. They didn't lose eye contact as they smiled and stared at each other and then he fell on the ground as Rey watched hopelessly.

"No!" I screamed in horror.








"Kylo!" I shouted as my eyes widened and I gasped, realizing it was just a dream. It was not real. Just a dream.



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