Hanging On

Tighter

WARNING!!! SPOIL ALERT!! SEXY TIME IS IN STORE!! SORRY FOR THE SPOIL, BUT ITS A CAUTION THING! ITS NOT REALLY EXPLICIT, SO DONT WORRY!

My house was completely dark when we arrived, and the house was silent. The guys who had taken care of the animals had turned the barn light off when they left, and it took me a moment for my eyes to get adjusted as we went up the steps and into the kitchen.

In my room I flicked on the light and then turned to Tucker, eager to get in bed and go to sleep.

But he was just standing in the door way of my room, his hands on his pockets. My heart thudded painfully in my chest. “I think I better sleep in my own room.” He said in his quiet voice. He might as well of slapped me across the face.

“What? Why?” I asked, even though part of me already knew the answer.

“Your mom will probably check on you when she gets home.” He said, and I supposed it was true. I also knew that wouldn’t have stopped him just the night before. I just stared at him, fear gripping my heart.

“Night, Syd.” He said, turning away. “I love you.” I saif, loud enough that he would hear. 

 I got no answer.

I wanted to go after him and beg him to come back to me, but I knew that was useless. All it would do was make me look foolish. He was just tired, and didn’t want to get me in trouble, that’s all. That’s when  kept telling myself, over and over again.

But I knew, in the bottom of my heart, in the pit of my stomach, that wasn’t true. He was pulling away from me. He was leaving me alone because he felt guilty, he felt the need to protect me. Didn’t he see that he wasn’t protecting me? He was killing me.

I was so tired. My body couldn’t handle this much pain, paired with the terror of what had happened. I was exhausted. I collapsed on my bed, pulling pins out of my hair until it fell around my shoulders, then I pulled  Tucker’s sweater around my face. I shut my eyes and pretended he was with me.

I tossed and turned all night and barely slept. Every time I woke up, I would roll over to hug Tucker, only to remember he wasn’t there. At one point I even got out of bed to go to his room. I missed him so badly. But no light shone from under his door as it used to.

He was sleeping.

He didn’t need me.

I went back to bed and curled into a ball just as the tears I had been holding in for so long that it hurt the back of my throat spilled out, and I sobbed into his sweater.

I woke up a little late the next morning, and went down to the kitchen to find my mom leaning against the counter.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, looking concerned.

“Much better.” I muttered. Her eye brows pulled together.

“You look terrible. Maybe you should go back to bed.” she said, and that’s when I knew I must look like death. My mother never, ever let me miss a day unless she was too, or she needed me to do something.

I chugged a glass of orange juice and set the empty glass on the counter.

“Where’s Tucker?” I asked, looking at my mom. She frowned a little.

“Whitney asked if you two would go help clean up. He said that he didn’t want to wake you, though, because you were sick.” She explained. I turned away from her so she wouldn’t see my face crumple.

He knew I wasn’t really sick. He had just chosen to leave me behind.

“He should be home a little after noon, though.” My mom said, and I nodded. “Honey, are you sure you’re alright?” she asked, concern etched across her face. I wanted to tell her everything. But what was I going to say? It had only been one day. Maybe he would come around. I was over reacting.