Hanging On

Awkward

I woke up the next morning when my alarm clock went off. Before I could move, Tucker leaned over me and turned it off himself before laying back down. I sighed deeply and stretched my arms a little. I had my head resting on his bare chest, my leg thrown over his with one arm wrapped around his stomach. I lifted my head a little and kissed his chest before blinking a couple times and looking at him.

“Moring.” He murmured, making me smile. His black hair was all tousled up, and I could only imagine what state mine was in.

I slowly sat up, pulling the blankets up with me to cover my chest. I felt Tucker’s finger tips gliding down my spine, making me shudder.

“You are so beautiful.” He murmured, and I laughed softly.

“You’re just saying that to get in my pants.” I teased, and he rolled his eyes, smiling a little.

“You really know how to ruin a moment, you know that?” he asked, flashing that crooked smile of his. I laughed and flopped back down next to him, propping myself up on one elbow.

“I love you.” I said, kissing him softly. He smiled at me, and I looked at the clock. If I wasn’t up in a few minutes, my mom would come to check on me. And find us lying in bed together. Naked.

So I got up, wincing a little at my sore muscles. Tucker frowned.

“Did I…hurt you?” he asked slowly, sitting up. I shook my head quickly.

“No, of course not! I’m just a little sore is all.” I said, then blushed a little, thinking of the reason why.

“You don’t regret it?” Tucker asked again, almost making me gasp.

“What? Of course not! It was amazing!” I said my eyes wide at his stupid question. It seemed to satisfy him.

“I mean, it was…good, for me.” I said, looking away. I heard Tucker chuckle.

“Are you kidding? I was worried that I had…missed…something.” Tucker said, making me giggle a little at how awkward we were being.

“Well, I’ve had better.” I whispered, dropping the blanket so I could put on some clothes.

“Yeah, I bet.” Tucker chuckled behind me.

I pulled on a pair of denim capris and a black v neck shirt. When I turned around, Tucker was just pulling on a light gray t shirt. I momentarily wondered where he had gotten it, but I didn’t really care that much.

“Syd?”

I looked at Tucker questioningly.

“I’m sorry. For what I did. I was just trying to protect you. Do you believe that?” he asked, looking at me with pleading eyes. I went closer to him.

“I know.” I said, putting one hand on his cheek.

“But believe me, I’ll never leave you again, I swear.” He said, sincerity burning in his eyes. I smiled and stood on my tip toes to kiss him.

“We can move past this. It doesn’t need to sit between us.” I said gently, kissing him again. I really meant it. I didn’t want to dwell on it. I believed him. He would never leave me again.

He put his hands on either side of my face, gently holding me to him as he deepened the kiss. I put one hand on his neck and let the other tangle in his hair as we kissed, our lips working together perfectly.

We broke apart when I heard my mom call my name. I giggled a little and smiled when I felt Tucker thread his fingers threw mine as we went down stairs to start our day, just like we had for nearly three months. Yet it felt…different, in a good way. We had gotten past out first bump in the road, and I hoped we would have a little while of smooth sailing before we hit another. Because we were sure to. I just had to trust that we were both strong enough to handle whatever it was. I knew we were.

My mom waited for us in the kitchen, scowling at me momentarily.

“This is the third time you’ve slept in this week.” She said sternly. I laughed and kissed her cheek as I opened the fridge.

“Sorry, mom.” When I turned around she was giving me an odd look.

“Why are you so chipper this morning?” she asked suspiciously, glancing at Tucker where he sat scarfing down muffins at the table. He stopped chewing to glance between us. I smiled a little. It was no wonder I was in a good mood.

“Just am, I guess.” I said, sitting next to Tucker. My mom continued to look at us suspiciously for a minute before shrugging and sitting down.

“Tucker, I meant to tell you last night, your probation officer is stopping in today.”

Tucker continued to eat, barely nodding as if it were nothing, but I could see his jaw muscles tighten, his shoulders tense up. I bumped my knee against his underneath the table, the subtle version of a hug, and he relaxed a little. “He’ll be here sometime this evening.” She continued, sipping her coffee.

Tucker scooted away from the table silently and set his plate next to the sink before heading out the door. My mother didn’t look twice; to her, that was his normal action. I could see right through it though.

A few minutes later, long enough for him not be suffocated by my presence, I followed him. I found him sitting next to a cow on a stool, the bucket for milking under her. But he wasn’t moving. He stared blankly down at his hands, his elbows on his knees and his fingers laced together. He twiddled his thumbs back and forth, his black hair falling into his eyes. He turned his head slightly and saw me, then stood up and walked over,  a little mechanically. I could see he wasn’t sure how to feel.

“I just don’t want to deal with this anymore.” He said, looking down at me. He knew that I knew.

“Its gonna be fine. You haven’t done anything wrong. In fact, you’ve been better than we had ever expected.” I said, trying to reassure him. He shook his head.

“It’s not that. It’s just, I want to put this all behind me, you know? I just want to get going on the next part of my life.” He said, looking frustrated.

I nodded and took his hand. “It’ll be over soon.”

“He always tries to set me off.” Tucker muttered, wrapping his fingers around mine. I tipped my head.

“What do you mean?” I asked, curious. Tucker shrugged.

“He pushes my buttons, you know. Tries to make me mad, brings up subjects he knows tick me off.” He said,  a spark of anger in his eyes. I felt it too. It didn’t seem right for his parole officer to try and do that.

“Why would he do that?” I asked.

“He’s just like all the others. I’ll always be the kid that messed up in a big way. He cant see any reason that I should be free. If it were up to him, I’d be back in jail before I could even hear the Miranda. He looks for anything.” Tucker explained, and I felt the spark of anger grow to a burning flame.

“He can’t do that, it’s not fair!” I cried, and a small smile tugged on the corners of Tuckers mouth.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let him. I’ve been around.” He said, then screwed his face up. “That sounded wrong.”

I snorted in laughter and covered my mouth, but Tucker just grinned. I wrapped my arms around his waist, still giggling a little and felt his arms go around me, his lips at my ear.

“I love you.” He murmured, and I smiled.

“You’re just saying that to get in my pants.” I said again, giggling. I felt him shake with laughter.

“I already did.” He teased, making me laugh harder. I pushed away from him, still laughing.

“Come on, before my mom gets suspicious.” I said, heading towards the cows. I looked up at Tucker, and knew my mind had been made up. He needed me just as much as I needed him, and I knew there were gonna be times when he would want to protect me, and sometimes he would think leaving would be the best way, but I wasnt going to let him. Tucker and I were just one half of the whole. It was Tucker and I against the world, whether he liked it or not.

Sorry this chapter is sort of short. Any tips? Like I'm said, i'm bad with the wole break up part of writing, and I could use some pointers! Are her reactions realistic? Are his?