I Called You Mine

Afraid of what they'll say

Riley's POV

I think I've dug myself in too deep this time. Sitting next to a random boy who I paid twenty dollars (stolen from my mom) to be my stand in boyfriend feels so wrong. My mom and stepdad are asking him question after question and with every "uhhh" that comes from his mouth they glare at me. Like they think he's not good enough for me. Or maybe they see through me, that maybe this isn't actually my boyfriend.

You might be wondering how I got into this situation. It all started last week, when my best friend Blake came out as a lesbian. That takes serious guts, especially where we live, in a very homophobic suburb of Atlanta. Add that to being in middle school, a.k.a. the worst three years of your life, and you are faced with Mount Everest. I didn't think Blake had it in her, but I'm happy for her I guess.

Wish I had that kind of moxie. I'd rather not hear the sex talk from my parents when I don't even like the boy, or any boy for that matter. I know even if I did have the courage to come out, it wouldn't be safe for me. I'm so jealous of what Blake has, acceptance, courage, and a really pretty face. How does Blake liking girls impact me? My parents now want proof that I won't turn gay because of her. So I stole money from my mom to pay a random boy at school to be my stand in boyfriend for this dinner. Which has backfired horribly because my two year old sister seems more into him than I am, and now that I think that it is very clear my parents see through me. 

Blake's POV

Riley has been texting me about how she wishes her parents were like mine while complaining about her day. I know why her stepdad is so stingy, he's a yankee transplant. He can't tolerate a southern summer, hate the cicadas, think college football is overrated, and just doesn't have that "southern hospitality" in him. Her mom's just stingy because she had Riley as a teenager and only sees her as a burden. Listening to Riley complain about how she had to pay a boy to be her stand in boyfriend, I think she might be gay too. It doesn't matter if she is though, she'd probably never be my girlfriend like I want her to be. I've hidden my feelings for her ever since I realized I liked girls, she doesn't have to ever know. 

My dad calls my brothers and I down for dinner. I race down the stairs in hopes of beating my brothers so I can take however much I want, within reason of course. I take a sharp turn into the kitchen to see my oldest brother Cameron was there first. I wish he fell down the stairs because I'm hungry and he's in my way. My other two brothers, Christian, and Ethan, follow close behind. Since I came out last week, my brothers have become more overprotective. Especially Ethan, according to him, he can take down all my bullies. I don't have the heart to tell him he cannot destroy homophobia, but he has the spirit. At least my older brothers are not middle school boys who think "you're gay"/"that's gay" is the funniest joke ever. Christian did ask me if I liked girls because I was the only girl in the house, but acceptance is acceptance. 

Also I think my mom rolled over in her grave hearing her only daughter was gay.

"You know what I'm going to do if someone bullies you?" Ethan asks. I don't tell him I remember that when I was in second grade he kicked a random kid in the balls for me and said he would do it again. It's been six years, so he probably has other ideas. Then again, he's been suspended twice in six years for fighting my bullies. I have no idea.

"No" I say, "are you going to fight them?"

"Not just fight them, I'm going to destroy them"

"You're not allowed to get suspended for fighting again." Dad says.

"But I'm doing it to protect my baby sister" Ethan says

"I'm not a baby I'll be fourteen in November" I say. This seems to break Cameron because he stops eating his food and zones out for a minute. 

"No"  Cameron mutters

"That's the same excuse you used the two times you were suspended for fighting kids" Dad says to Ethan, "Blake is old enough handle her own problems."

Unlike Riley's family dinner, the rest of the meal is mainly uneventful. Dad asks the four of us about school, to which we all reply "it's school." I don't tell him how many homophobic jokes I've heard on the bus or at lunch. You can tell he's really trying to step up as a dad, and he wants us to tell him stuff like that, but I'm thirteen, the twins are fifteen, and Ethan's sixteen. Why should we start telling him stuff now? When and if we're pressed for details we just tell him what we're working on in school, nothing personal.