Hexsquad one shots!

Okay so they might be a little less than okay.

[TW: Self harm and mentioned scars/cutting. please don't read if you are sensitive to this!!]

Luz had been quiet all day long.

It had been about three weeks since everything happened. Belos, the portal door, being stuck in the human realm, losing King, losing Eda, losing her second family. Luz lay awake at night, unable to sleep, running everything over and over in her head until the sun rose and he had to go to school. They missed Eda. They missed King. She was so, so worried about everyone. God, them and their stupid big heart. Everything was their fault.
Everything.
Amity had noticed how quiet Luz was. She was pulling away more and more, isolating himself from everyone. Amity knew why. It was obvious. They just didn't know /why/. It was like when her mother would be mad at them for something, but nothing specific. She would just be mad. Amity hated the feeling of not knowing what she could do to make things right. And right now, it was the only thing they felt.
And it got worse when she noticed the scars on Luz's arms. They had grabbed her hand while eating dinner, and held it tight. Amity looked down and noticed them. The scars weren't fresh, but they were definitely from after they had come to the human realm. She didn't point them out, or ask about them - they knew better than to do that, and she didn't want to make their girlfriend uncomfortable. But she was still scared. They had that sinking feeling, the dread  of not knowing what to do. She wanted to let Luz know that she were there them, but she didn't know how.
That night, Amity had locked herself in the bathroom and cried. and cried. It was the first time in a long time that they had let themself feel vulnerable. She let out everything they could think of. How they hated how complicated their relationship with her mom was, how she missed her dad and her siblings, how scary it was being trapped here with no way back home, how worried they were for Luz, Titan, how worried she was for everyone, even Hunter. They were so, so worried all the time. But she didn't know what the hell they could do to stop thinking about everything. Crying helped, but it still left her with that stupid, stupid feeling, unable to think of ways  to help, to feel less like a dead weight doing nothing but slowing everyone down. It was an emptiness in their head that left her feeling useless. She sobbed harder. She hated feeling like they were contributing nothing. She was! At least, she was trying! They wanted to help, wanted to be there for everyone, but right now, it felt like she couldn't even be here for themself.
They must have sat crying in that bathroom for a while. She didn't know what time it was when she finally stopped crying. They wiped their eyes, sniffing as she stood up shakily. She felt.. better? She definitely needed that.
They left the bathroom, entering the dark hallway. It was dark. And quiet. Amity assumed everyone had gone to sleep already, but she didn't feel like sleeping. She wasn't tired. They walked downstairs quietly, deciding she was just going to get some food then watch TV until they fell asleep. They grabbed bread out of the fridge, and jelly too. When she reached for the knives, however, she noticed something was off.
No.
Nonononono.
There was  knife missing.
Right where it should have been was an empty slot, devoid of the sharp shiny blade and handle.
Sharp shiny blade.
Luz.
Amity turned around when they heard footsteps behind them, soft against the tile floor of the kitchen.
"Luz?" She called softly, afraid of being too loud. The footsteps stopped.
"..Amity?"
"Batata, what are you doing awake?" Amity asked.
I already know.
"I-"
Luz stepped into view, her arms folded across his stomach, something shoved into her pajama pockets.
"I needed water."
"Luz, please give me the knife." Amity said, harsher than she meant. Luz was quiet for a long minute, but it seemed like hours that the two stood there. They stared at Amity, her expression blank, unreadable. Amity felt tears in her eyes.
"Luz, please." Amity whispered, her voice breaking. They didn't want them to hurt themselves anymore.
Luz complied. She reached into their pocket silently, pulling out the small knife, the little missing puzzle piece in the knife block. Amity turned and put it back in its place. She didn't turn to face Luz again.
"Can we go sit down on the couch? And talk about this?" She asked quietly. Luz didn't reply, but she hear shuffling out of the kitchen. She waited for a second, then they followed.
Luz and Amity sat down on the couch together, quietly. Neither knew what to say. That stupid feeling wrapped itself around Amitys brain again. At last, she spoke.
"Can I see them?" She asked quietly. Slowly, Luz nodded, extending her arm.
"I'm sorry." Luz said quietly as Amity examined their arm.
"Don't be. Please. I-"
I understand.
"When did you start doing this?"
"Ever since we came to the human realm. It hasn't been an everyday thing, just- just when I feel
like walking, breathing shit."
Amity chuckled dryly, attempting to lighten things at least a little.
"Am, how did you find out?" Luz asked.
"I saw your scars. At the dinner table. I didnt want to bring them up, since I didn't want to be rude. I just wanted you to maybe bring it up on your own. But-"
She inhaled.
"But I think talking to you about this now before it gets more serious is important."
There was silence.
"I'm sorry, cariña." Luz repeated.
"Luz," Amity said, finally meeting her eyes. They cupped his cheek with her hand. "You didn't do anything wrong. I dont know what you're going through, but we can work this out together. Just please don't hurt yourself again. I don't want to see you in pain. Especially if it's somethimg I can help."
"I know, its just, all of this is my fault, and everyones separated from their families because of /me/, and i helped Bel- Philip, and- and-!" Luz looked at Amity, tearful brown eyes meeting soft yellow ones. Luz started crying, and Amity reached out, wrapping her arm around her.
"Luz, none of this is your fault. I know it feels like you caused all of this, but you didn't. I promise." They stroked Luz's hair gently until she slowly stopped crying.
"I love you so much, Amity. I mean that." He sniffed.
"I love you too." They said quietly.
"Once we get these bandaged, can we sleep down here? On the couch? I don't want to sleep with everyone else tonight."
They nodded. "We could rewatch Azura, too!" She suggested, hoping it would make Luz feel beter, but also herself.
Luz smiled. "Of course."

After Amity had made sure Luz's cuts were disinfected and properly bandaged, she had kissed them on the forehead and they walked downstairs together, cuddling on the couch as they watched Azura on the lowest volume so they didn't wake everyone else up.
Amity was still scared, of course, and she still hated the feeling of not knowing what to do, but at least she had Luz.
At least they had eachother.

[A/N:
how r we feeling abt this chapter yall  bc idrk
Also I'm going to start writing longer chapters and experiment with my writing style a bit :3]