Lost hope

Hopeless faith

Rafiq's pov-
I could tell from the moment ammara looked at him she knew who he was.

That gremlin look alike boy from therapy.

She gave him the same look she gave me when i
Told her i first loved her.
I dont see any threat between me and him as ammara would never replace me and i am truly one of a kind.

Therapy was such a drag as she didn't want to talk much and had such a dull face on.

I couldn't contain what i had done, by telling her maid she still self harms as i feel really guilty and need to come clean.

We finally arrived back to her house and ammara lays in her bed ready to fall asleep as its pretty late and is also what i would want to be doing, in her bed aswell though.

"Hey ammara i need to tell you something." I sigh.

"Yeah what is it, whats up?"

"Well i feel like your never going to forgive me and you have to give me your word you will!"

"Rafiq your my best friend of course i am going to forgive you for whatever you did."

"Well... you know how i said i dont know how the maid found your blades..."

"Yes..."

"I kind of was the one who gave it to her and lied to you.. BUT I AM SO SORRY and im only telling you this because i regret it"

"Regret it??"
"Your only telling me this rafiq because you couldn't bare to see how sad i was in therapy don't come here and make lies and then expect me to believe you".

"No, ammara i was just worried for you."

"Get out rafiq i dont want to see you in my room ever again!"

My heart sank as her eyes started to fill up with water like a whirl pool and their was absolutely nothing i could do about it.

I never expected her to react like this especially since ive helped her through everything, she was my rock.

Last summer when she was suffering with her self harm she would confide in me as to where she hurt herself.

Id spend hours and hours watching videos and tutorials on how to properly take care of self harm wounds just so she would be in a good state. Every night without fail id rub her whole body with aleo gel as i couldn't bare seeing the scars, as having scars on her body is like having scars on mine.

She was my golden angel.

The next day had come by and i had gotten a message from her parents as i know none of her
Friends, asking me to come over as she isnt waking up.

I run over barely putting my shoes on the right feet and she is unresponsive in her bed and i already start to think the worst.

I tell her parents to leave as i scatter the room and find packets of paracitomal pills underneath her bed.

I carry her limb body into the shower and turned it on the coldest temperature tapping her gently amongst her weak and limp face. Minutes had gone by which felt like hours and i wasn't getting any response from her which started to worry me.

I couldn't dial 911 as her parents would stress even more and she would never forgive me.

I leave her in the shower with her clothes on sitting her up as best as i could and talk to her parents.

"Hi.. ammara just felt very sick and congested shes taking a hot shower and will be fine in a matter of
Minutes."

"Thank you rafiq.. what we would we do without you!"

"Is it okay if i stay until she comes out."

"Yes that's totally fine stay aslong as you need sweetie."

I walk back into the bathroom and hear coughing i run to here with a towel and can only see her faint self shivering.

I pick her up again but this time with more care and sense of direction with where im going and rap her around in her towel.

I lay her in her bed and give her some water to drink in order to wash out the drugs she had taken.

She is resisting every urge to look at me and i still sense the fact that she is mad.

She has every right to be but without my help she wouldn't of survived and i cant help but think if thats what she wanted.

I leave to let her relax.

"No.. don't leave me please."

"You wont even look at me in the eye ammara , after everything you've done, it doesn't only affect you, it affects everyone around you and i just don't seem to think you understand that."