Chapter 20

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After that little lapse I got back on track. I decided to channel my energy into work. I got an internship that basically took up most of my time. With less time to party came less excuses to drunk call or text. Plus I was finally doing what I came there to do, to have a life. And for what I could tell I was doing pretty well. So well that my six months had turned into a full year in London.

Then at mine 11th month I got to see that not only my actions, but my absence also had some pretty weird consequences...

-Laura? Are you there?

-Hey Mark...

-Mark?

-That's your name isn't it?

-Yes but I never heard you say it

-Oh sorry...

-What are we now? Distant friends? Colleagues? Am I someone you used to know in college? – Ok, that was unusual.

-Sorry...didn't know rocker guy meant so much to you...

-It does mean a lot to me...and you mean so much to me...- He was almost tripping on his own words...

-Hm...there's something different about you...

-There is not...I miss you...it's been 7 months...did you forget me? Did you get me out of your head?

And then it hit me -Are you drunk?

-Maybe...

-What the hell happened??

-I drank and then now I am drunk - Brilliant

-Great explanation...very specific...but what happened to you not drinking?

-I don't now. I must have misplaced it.

-That's great...but how come?

-Well I finally came across the numbing powers of alcohol

-Numbing powers?

-Yes...and there is so much I want to not feel...

-Is everything ok?

-No it is not ok...I don't know how it got to this...

-How what got to what?

-This! This mess in my head...and you..you are so nice...how could I be such an ass to you??

-Just let it go...it's in the past...

-NO...I cannot...

-Why not? I am telling you to...

-No because by putting this in the past you are putting me in the past...

-I am not

-You are calling me Mark

-I am sorry...I just wanted to be nice...

-No you were trying to be impersonal...to keep your distance...

-Ok this is not the time for us to talk about this...

-It is the perfect time...before you forget me...

-I am not going to forget you...I am in a different continent and I still drunk text you...

-Not for the past 7 months...

-I was trying to give you space...

-I don't want space...

-Ok then what do you want?

-I don't know...but I don't want you to forget me...

-Doesn't that sound a little bit selfish to you?

-A little...But I lov... - Now there was something I did not want to hear. Not now. Not like that.

-Doooooooon't

-Why not?

-Because you are drunk and you don't mean it

-How do you know I don't mean it...

-Because you don't know me enough to love me?

-Then how come I feel you are the only one who understand me? The only person I want to talk to?

-I don't know...Somehow we do have a connection...but it is not love...

-I don't want to lose that...I can't lose that...

-You won't

-I'm sorry I've been away

-I'm sure you have better things to do in Europe then talking to a recently discovered drunk...

-No way...rocker guy and drunk...I am starting to think you are my match made in heaven...

-You are the best...Are you sure I can't say it?

-I am sure...you wouldn't even remember in the morning...

-ok...

-I have to go to work...you go and sleep this off ok? Don't do anything stupid...

-I won't

-Just out of curiosity what did you drink?

-Red wine...

-Are you a divorced middle aged white female?

-In my heart I am...

-Drink loads of water before bed then...please...

-I will...

-Sweet dreams

- Have a good day love

-Have a good night love

I wanted to scream...Why now? I did not need that now. I also wanted to never pick up my phone ever again. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't be responsible for turning rocker guy into an alcoholic. Yes that was my excuse. The real reason was that I couldn't bare to think he was that sad because of me or something I had done. I liked him way too much to do that.

I guess we were in it together. Now what "it" was I had no idea.

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