The truth about Prince Charming

Chapter 27

Even though I knew we could never be, all I wanted to do was talk to him. But I fought that urge. However I couldn't control myself in the light of the new events. He was the only one I thought of telling when it happened. One of the happiest days of my life.

*Message from Laura* - My niece was born!!

*Message from Laura* - I do realize that this must not matter at all to you, but for some reason you just had to be the first person I tell...Couldn't stop thinking about telling you since I found out 7 hours ago...but had to work.

*Message from Laura*- There is something very wrong with this "non" relationship we have.

And then I got no answer for a month. And then I got angry. I got enraged. I could have easily killed someone with my bare hands. And I don't even kill animals for food. That was how angry I was.

- How busy have you been?

-Excuse me?

-How busy have you been?

-Oh hello to you to Laura

-Cut the crap...how busy have you been in this past month that you couldn't find the time to answer my stupid message?

-Busy

-Don't do it...

-What?

-Don't be that guy...

-What guy?

-Don't be the guy that phase me out when he is not interested anymore...

-That is so not what this is

-Then what is it?

-I am tired of this ok?

-Tired of what?

-Of this...this thing we don't even know what it is...this "non" relationship, like you said so yourself

-I see...so you are breaking up with me?

-I don't even know what I am doing...we don't have a relationship to break up

-And somehow that's not stopping you from phasing me out and breaking up with me...

-Listen...I poured my heart out to you last time we talked AGAIN...and you made it very clear you are not interested

-How did you get "not interested" from that conversation?

-Maybe from the part where you won't come back and give us a chance to have a real relationship

-because I'm scared...and quite frankly you really proving me wrong right now.

-I just can't do this...this coming and going...this talking every couple of months...this waiting for you...

-I'm sorry but you were the one who broke my heart...

-Five years ago...

-And yet somehow I'm not done putting the pieces of it together

-But you see...Now you have broken mine....You see how you torture me?

-Torture you?

-Yes...For five years...I never know when you are going to call again...where will you be, who are you going to be with...maybe you will be married, maybe you will be in Egypt, maybe you will be a lesbian, or maybe you will be with some jerk guy and I will be here putting my life on hold or ruining my chance to have a real relationship with a perfectly normal girl who isn't running away from me...

-Then stop doing that...

-I can't...as long as I have you in my life I can't...because at the same time I will always be wondering if that will be the time you will call to say you love me too and that we can be together...

-ok then...I guess I won't be in your life anymore...- Sometimes I amaze myself with my ability to play tough when deep down I know I am about as soft as a bunny in a laundry detergent commercial.

-And that thought breaks my heart as well...but it is what I need right now...

-This just feels so wrong...

-I know...

-I can't imagine not calling you anymore...

-I know...

-Did you know it takes me two days to prepare myself to talk to you?

-Really? Why?

-I don't know...I just get so anxious...

-I actually get butterflies in my stomach when I see there is a call from an unknown number...

-Butterflies...that's what I get as well...I used to get them every time I knew I was going to see you and they just never went away...

-Me too...

- And the normal thing is for the butterfies to come and go, you know. The hardest thing is to try to get them to stay. That's what I always wanted
- And how did you do that?
- You don't know... I guess they just stayed when they had to.
- And how do they know when they have to?
- I guess they can feel you loosing your breath when you see that special someone, they can tell that that anxiety you feel when you see that specific smile is different then the other ones. They can feel your body shaking when you touch that person's skin. And they just know. That's how they know you have found it. You have found your one true love.
- So am I your one true love?
- I guess you are about to be the one who got away
- Isn't all that enough reason for you to give up your fears, close your eyes and just jump?
- I thought it would be...but I guess it is not...
- Then I guess I am just not your one true love...
-I used to think you were...but you showed me otherwise...
-All that because of a mistake I did 5 years ago...
-I wanted you to be the one so much when I met you...but you turned out to be my biggest disappointment...And no, all this is not because of  mistake you made 5 years ago...all this is because 5 years ago I found out the truth about fairy tales and prince charming...
-And what is that?
-The truth about prince charming is that he will only be charming while he has to...after he has you in his white horse and you are ridding into sunset he will kick you to the ground the minute he sees another challenge...because that's what fairy tales are actually about. We delude ourselves into thinking it is about the romance and the happy ending when really it is just about the adventure. Once that is gone the story is over...and we all move on to the next...Happily ever after only lasts until you have that book open...Then you close it, put it on the shelf and move on to the next adventure.
-And that's what you are doing right? Staying as long as the adventures last?
-Exactly...
-Then there you go...you get you wanted. This adventure is over. Time for this book to be go on your shelf.
-Lasted long enough
-I can't believe that's how you see us.
-That's what you showed me
-Have a great life...hope that shelf gets full enough for you not to be able to realize all the empty room you have where your heart is supposed to be...
-Hope so too...it will be much easier then trying to piece together the heart you broke
-Have a great life Laura
-You too Mark.
-Never call me again...
-Already deleting your number
-Crazy psycho
-Scum bag
And that was it. It was over. Just like it started. I guess it was only fair: out of nowhere and headed nowhere. Like it said, time for this story to rest on the shelf.