The Black The white and the grey.

Chapter 36 | First class bars.

Kaboentle.

I can't believe that in six months I am about to push a human out of me.

In twenty fours weeks I'll be a mother to a brand new soul
And in one hundred and eighty three days I'll be a new person with a new title.

Not just Kaboentle Gumede but I'll be a mother.

I bring the baby up to my nose and i close my eyes before I sniff him above his head and I smile down at him.

Absolutely precious, as we continue to rock back and forth while he sleeps so carelessly in my arms.

Khumo is his name, who i am surprised is the only one that slipped the shackles of inheriting his father's name and he's amazing. I can't describe to you the feeling of holding this little life form in my arms like this. It is intoxicating and it is awfully fulfilling and has an innate ability to mend broken hearts.

I've only known Khumo for two days now and I have fallen in love with him more times than I can count.

I give his nose a little gentle kiss and he gives me an equally beautiful toothless smile as he gives me little sleepy blinks with that small smile still plasterd on his face and wait for it.... he has dimples.

I close my eyes as I pull him closer to me and I release a sigh.

I love this.

"Kabo, are you both still okay ?"

Ausi Tshego asks as she walks into Khumos nursery and she holds her hands above her ever growing hips.

"Aren't you supposed to be resting ?"

"I've rested more than enough, thank you and I've lost all my possible sleeping positions. But it did feel good. I feel like i needed it."

"I am glad that I could be happy to help. Khumo and I have been having the time of our lives."

I tell her and she smiles at me before she stares down at her son.

"It feels different when you see little versions of the man you love across all your babies. I still can't get used to it."

I know exactly what she's talking about. I can only imagine how our baby would look once he's born.

"He's too beautiful."
I tell her as I lightly brush up against his little nose and his mother smiles down at me.

"Since you came here you haven't brought up Siya and you haven't brought up what happened and I am afraid that your using Khumo as a distraction... did something else happen ?"

She asks as she takes a seat on one of the rocking couches too and she looks at me.

"Siya and I are fine Ausi Tshego."

I tell her as I continue to caress little Khumo's head.

"Knowing Siya, he'd never let you out of his sight Nana. I haven't known Siya long enough but I've known you the longest to know that this isn't just about the miscarriage. Your running away from something and that's not healthy that's not right, you have a husband now who I know is more than willing to do anything for you and for him to not come after you right now means that this is way bigger than I thought."

"We're both just dealing with a lot Ausi Tshego, losing a baby is not something light. I felt I needed to come home so I can deal with this on my own..."

"By why not go through this with him ?"
She asks and i heave a loud sigh and I look away from her.

"There's a lot that you don't know Ausi Tshego and a lot that I just felt like I needed time away from.
I've always needed time away from that place since place since the minute we got married and Siya created this bubble for me that just shielded me from everything else which I deeply appreciate and when we we lost the baby I felt like that bubble popped, I felt like the world had come down on me and it became too much."