The Black The white and the grey.

Chapter 43 | I deserve better.

Anele.

"Is the place very far ?"
Mpumi asks with a Curious expression as he looks outside of the window with excitement.

I look into the back seat and I give him a small smile.

"Just a few minutes away baby."

"You said that last time."

"And I was honest then, and I still am now."
I tell him and he gives me another adorable smile.

"I can't wait to see all of the farm animals."

"Your not excited about seeing your grandparents."

I ask him as my eyes move to Sibonelo's for a brief moment just to see his reaction at the mention of his grandparents.

"I am excited for that too."
He answers.

"Okay. I am excited for you to get to know them too."
I tell him as I look at both him and his older brother who continues to look out of the window in his own train of thought.

I lean away from the back seat and I rest my back again on the passenger seat as my eyes lock back on the road, ignoring our driver.

To say I am not shitlessly scared would be a complete lie because I am scared. Not for me but for my children. I am scared about their fathers ability to stand up for us these days.

Ever since Khosi left, I've questioned everything. I've questioned the future of our marriage and the future of our family.

He loved Khosi. That I won't contest, and it's evident how much her departure had ruined him. He's not the same person anymore and it leaves me wondering the lengths he's willing to go to, to close the hole that she left. Sometimes I ask myself If him getting a second wife would be his distraction. Him finding somebody to play Khosi's role because quiet frankly I've always known that I will never be the only woman in Mandlas heart.

He is a polygamist at heart and I learned this the hard way. I am a jelous woman, I like my husband to myself and myself only, I only agreed to this because of his royal status and I understood and to think that before his family I am not acknowledged and an abomination i have no place to speak about his pending third wife. I have no say, I have no right to express how I feel about this. Before his family, He doesn't have a wife at this point, yet I still continue to wear his ring.

But through all of this I still committed to loving Mandla because to me he wasn't just the father of my kids but he was the love of my life.

The car drives into the palace as my heart starts to thud even further inside of my chest. I grip the seat belt even harder the closer we move to the entrance.
I am not looking forward to any of this.

Mandla parks the car at the front of the house and he turns of the engine before he turns to look at all three of us.
He grabs my hand and he gives it a small squeeze.

"I know that this is new to all of you, its going going feel a little odd but we're all in this together."
He says as he gives us a little pep talk and the boys nod their heads at him before they look at me and I give them a little smile.

He turns to look at me and he sighs again.

I give his hand a little rub and he brushe against mine as well.

We all get out of the car and we move towards the doors of the palace.

I've only ever been here once and this was the time that Mandla brought me here, highly pregnant only to find out that he's betrothed to someone and that they won't accept us. Since then I've never foot in here and neither have my children.