The Black The white and the grey.

Chapter 49 | Get out.

Kaboentle.

"I have been trying to rock her back to sleep but she's not budging."
Ausi Tshego explains as she hands Nkanyezi over to me again while mama has baby Khumo In her arms and the boys, including Lubanzi have dissappeard somewhere inside the house, away from their nannies.

She's crying her lungs out, empty gums and a pink face.
This is what I am going to be waking up to for these coming few years and let me tell you, Nkanyezi is a sassy little person, it's either her father or nobody, I am just the exception.

I take her from Ausi Tshego and I stare down at her as I start to bounce her around while I place my lips at the side of her head and she quiets down.

"She looks a lot like Siya."
She starts and I look at her and I don't know what to say. Not that i don't have anything to say to her but because I am not in a position to discuss anything with anybody Including her and her husband.
And I don't even know where I'd even start with her and I hate how this came out and I hate that this even came out in the first place.

It wasn't Abuti Kghosi's place to come out with this. It wasn't his place at all and it hurts me more to think that this is his way of protecting me. This doesn't feel like protection at all. He did this infront of our children and infront of our family. He's let people know exactly what's happening inside of my marriage while I've tried so desperately hard to keep this from the outside world to keep this away from prying eyes.

He let people see.

I go and I hand Nkanyezi to Siya who's in the bedroom and I leave again for his ice pack.

As soon as I get back down stairs their all in the dining room area that's situated infront of the kitchen.

"Uhm the boys are welcome to stay for a little longer with Lubanzi for the night."
I tell Ausi Tshego who's now brewing a cup of coffee and she stops

"We don't mean to impose..."

"No don't worry, he could use being around children his  age for a few days."

I tell her and she nods her head at me while she also fiddles with her hands.

"How is he ?"

She asks, nervously and I only continue to stare at her.

"Did he tell you ?"
I ask and she releases a sigh.

"I tried to persuade him against confronting you this way..."

"It's okay Ausi Tshego."
I tell her as i put my hand up and I start to walk away and back to Siya and I's bedroom and I can feel her following me.

"Kabo why didn't you tell me ?"
She asks as she stands infront of me and she stares at me with a sad sad look. A look of pity.

I don't need this. I don't need her pity.

"Because there was nothing to tell Ausi Tshego."

"Kabo-"

"Ausi Tshego please... just stop please. I've already let enough people see what goes on inside of my marriage it's enough..."

"That's not what I'm trying to do and you know that I would never tell anybody about this."

"Then why did he wait so many months to say this and why now ? Why today ?"

"He was just so angry at Siya, I tried to get him to calm down but he was just too furious."

"But who's marriage is this. I don't get why everybody feels like they have the right to do as this please with it nobody is perfect and neither are we !! I need everybody to stop with all the bull shit. You all forced me into this marriage, you all asked me to stay committed and now that I am so deep within you want me out ?!! What do you want from me huh ?"