'Til The End Of Time (Eight)

I feel horrible now 🥺💔

Thursday July 25 th

Carina decided to take several days off of work and to stray home with her children... Maya isn't working until July 31 st, everyone is happy both of their moms are staying home with them.. the kids misses their moms when they have to work late...

Carina slept in that day!
Maya woke up at 8 h and prepared breakfast for everyone, waffles with syrup on top with marshmallows..

8h27 am
**Rose , Violet and Scarlett are now awake **

Hi mommy!!
Good morning!
Maya: ohhh hiii beautiful girls ! Ohhh how much you've grown over night?
Violet: wait what? Is that really a thing? We can grow inches during the night? So cool!
Maya: yea Bambina! Did you all sleep well last night?
Scarley: yes we did , ohhh ! I'm almost taller then violet mommy loook ** she and Violet both stood up behind each other's back and they loved to measure who was getting taller **

Maya: woah , that's right; you are getting taller too! But violet is a little bit taller than you, ** she gestured the " little bit" with her hands , 🤏🏻**

One day you'll be just as tall !
Scarlett : awnnn , okay!
Rose : I did sleep well last night thank you mommy,
Maya: that's good!!
Rose : mommy, is it true that momma never wanted Londyn ?
Maya: what? Absolutely not, when did you head that?
Rose : well yesterday when momma came back home from work, she was really really upset and she said that  "if Juliette would have survived.. Londyn and the rest of us wouldn't be here... "

Maya : okay, first of all, I was the one who said that if Juliette wouldn't have died , most of you wouldn't be here yes that's true, but we don't know if we would have stopped after Juliette, Alessandro or Londyn , and or even adopted you beautiful four children ...
Momma was extremely exhausted and emotional from the bad day she had yesterday... but Londyn——-  and I reassured her that if Juliette would have made it out okay...—— everything happened for a reason... and we have to trust God on the reason he took Juliette up in Heaven so early.. she might have had and incurable diagnosis and would have been too much pain to see her suffer like that.. and it would have been extremely difficult for our family... but to momma and I , as well, okay! Just know that YOU TWELVE ARE INCREDIBLY LOVED AND WANTED ! Okay!? And I'm saying this on behalf of momma as well, okay?

**Rose and her siblings ended up walking in the kitchen and heard the rest of the conversation and went to hug Maya **

: okay thank you mommy for the reassurance that we belong with you all...
Daisy : we were getting a little worried about that... about us being too much to handle...
Dominico: yea and that you would have send us back to foster care... forever...

**Maya had tears in her eyes**

Ohhhh Bambinos , you never have to worry about that ever happening okay?

** At this exact moment Carina got up to go to the bathroom and she heard everything that was being said downstairs and she was crying pretty loudly **

8h47 am
Maya: babe? Is that you?
Carina: yea I uhhh ...
Maya: what is wrong? Why are you crying?

** Carina came in the stairs and sat down and cried, Londyn woke up several minutes before all of this was happening **

9h32 am

Carina: I heard everything that you said to the kids... and I feel horrible... guys , I'm sorry...
Fredericko: hey hey, momma it's okay,
Lorenzo: what's happening? Momma , don't cry , you know I never liked it when you were upset when I was younger ... I still don't...
Carina: I'm crying because I said some things yesterday because I was having a horrible day at work, I had lost three patients out of four right before I came in to see Andy, then I got mad at Andy for not realizing how lucky she was to have all of her precious little babies alive, when I didn't... and I know I shouldn't have compared my miscarriage experience to the one she's going through with her babies in the nicu, but... I overheard everyone saying that they don't feel like you belong here, and I wouldn't be here if Juliette had survived... and I don't know..... I just love each and every single one of you MY PRECIOUS TWELVE!!!!