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" We learned to live with the pain
MOSAIC BROKEN HEARTS "
―THEY WERE ALL ALLOWED TO STAY WITH A LOCAL GOVERNOR WHO PROVIDED spacious chambers of which Yi was more than just grateful for, considering how sore she was from battling a flying soldier with no moral compass.
The place was decorated in near worship of Sankta Lizabeta with its honeycomb floor tiles that shone, the roses carved into the gleaming mantel, and the walls hollowed out to resemble those of a hive, small vases placed into the mini caverns. It was eccentric, to say the very least, but it almost seemed taunting, considering the fact that Yi had nearly died before the same Saint the quarters seemed to treasure.
She felt hollow with the knowledge that it was true, that Makhi had never seen anything in her but a disposable, bubbly princess. Her own beloved cousin had sent those soldiers after her. Yi could have become a Grisha slave in moments, had she not saved herself.
Had Nikolai not saved her.
She didn't want to believe it. The demon had come out in broad daylight and her phoenix of fear had sparked to life as easily as a ribbon caught fire. She was afraid, pure terror that had streaked through her chest like a lightning bolt. It felt engraved into her heart now. It felt wrong to act as though she was still a Taban soldier, that she was still the Commander of the Second Army.
It felt wrong to still wish that Nikolai was hers, after the hell they'd been through, after the hell he'd unknowingly put her through.
She was losing herself and him and everything she'd gave her blood, sweat, and tears for. It was unraveling like a flaky pastry in her hands, falling apart further with each attempt to hold it together. She'd constructed a life that had satisfied her, and yet the Darkling had ruined it once more from six feet beneath the ground. How was it that his sick, twisted legacy lived on when even he couldn't?
Yi hated knowing that when she perished, the Darkling would still live on in the preachers and prayers of misled people, clinging onto their last threads of protection in power.
Could she really blame them? She had been that girl too, once.
The khergud that had died were retrieved by Nikolai's forces to be studied while the twins ensured that Yuri didn't have plans to spread what he'd seen today.
Now Tamar and Tolya played chess against each other, the delicate pieces thudding gently on the intricate board every now and then. Zoya was perched on the windowsill, her gaze cast out at the night sky.
Yi's gaze lingered on the dark-haired Squaller for a few moments. How many times in her youth had she wished to be as flawless and poised as Zoya was? How many times had doubt crept in through the cracks of her protection, insecurity whenever Yi saw those deep blue eyes?
