3-Minute Passion (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 35

After screaming and crying for I think about half an hour, I find myself staring in my eyes on the rear view mirror. Bloodshot eyes, tear stained face and chapped lips. Those 30 minutes of my life were wasted, because of crying over some boy. I should know better by now that life doesn't always go as planned. And the best thing to do about it is be prepared. The worst will always come unexpectedly and the least we could do is save ourselves from wailing over it by being prepared. The good thing about realizing all this is that it's totally cliche to wail over being brokenhearted. I caress the ink on my forearm, tracing over the lines of Forever with you. The lie Red fed on me and now it's just a memory, something that I won't regret. Life's not over just because a relationship didn't last. It just means that I should learn something from it. I once thought that we all need someone in our life as we grow old, but being in relationships that never worked out, it becomes evident that we should find the love in ourselves first. If I didn't realize these things right now, I would still be crying. Crying, the physical representation of pain, has been a friend to me and I want to change that. The school year's almost over and what I need to do is move past everything that happened. But that doesn't mean that I have to forget. Memories are priceless treasures. 

My phone buzzes on my back pocket and I slide it to check who's calling me. Nick's name flashes on the screen and I answer it without hesitation. I can still hear the slow music from the background as he speaks, "Where are you? Did you go home alone?" 

"Nah, I'm in my car..." 

"What happened?" The sound of the music becomes distant and I can only hear the clanking of his shoes. The lot's already pitch black and it would be hard to find a parked car in the middle since the only lights that illuminate the place are on the sides. Each being placed a few meters away. I lean on the steering wheel to check for his figure.

"The inevitable. It was hard at first, but we both settled in the idea." I wince at the words. I would be completely stupid to tell him that it was easy all the way even though it's basically my idea. He sighs and I don't know if it's a relief or a defeat type of sigh. 

"How are you doing?" A figure briskly walks toward my car and I lean on my headrest and open my door. I put my phone on the dashboard. I give Nick an assuring smile and he walks over to the passenger's seat.

"Can we just move past this? I'm okay and there's no need for you to be worried." It's a little harsh thing to say for someone who just cares for your well-being. I don't want to dig the pain and realize it's still there. I've buried it together with the things that was once part of my feelings for Red. 

He nods his head in agreement.

**

"Don't get mad at me. This will be the first and last question I'll ever ask you about what happened." Nick breaks the silence as I drive. We're going to a diner to grab some food since the crying made me famished. I laugh at his expense. Nick being that distressed over me getting mad is just adorable.

"Fine. But if it's going to make me mad, I'll stop my car and leave you here." I threaten with a smile. He takes a deep breath with wide eyes. I can't stop myself from laughing. because of his childish deed. 

"How come you're taking this so easily? I'm not assuming that you do, but just by looking at you... I don't see the pain of breaking up with someone.." His eyes searches on my face for any possible ill feeling. I turn my gaze back on the road. 

"Being in pain doesn't always mean looking like hell. Some people have this unique talent to hide it, because they don't want to relieve the moment every time they're asked if they're okay. Same goes with me, pain will always be there, but I choose not to dwell on it. If I do so, I would deprive myself with the happiness other people want me to feel. And people who get hurt deserve to have this euphoric moment in order to move on with life. It may sound superficial and completely heartless to do it, but the truth is, we find comfort in lies rather than the truth. I know that I may be going on a different idea with the other, but if you look at it closely, having this euphoric moment is a complete and utter bullshit which is why I described it as a lie."