Bloodlust

17

"So when I was little I never really felt like I belonged. I always had this idea in the back of my mind that I was switched at birth or something" I chuckle nervously. She takes my hand in hers and smiles at me reassuringly causing a grin to spread on my face. "As I got older, the differences became more... noticeable. I never wanted to eat a steak above medium rare, for starters. My mom would catch me licking the blood of the containers of fresh meat. She thought that I just had weird cravings or something and that they'd go away" I sigh because obviously it never did.

"She drew the line when I bit a kid on the playground for pushing me and left marks on him. She shipped me off to live with my aunt, Delores, for a 'little while' until I could control myself as she said. Well, that didn't go to well either so, at 18 I finally snapped and ran away. I floated around for a little while and that's when I met Victoria... she told me how I can turn my anger and pain into something 'good'. A few years of that and I met the Cullens, specifically Carlisle and Esme." I say smiling at the bittersweet memory.

"They found me in an alley, about to kill an innocent man because Victoria said she wanted fresh meat. Right before I could charge at him, Carlisle pulled me back... and I'll never forget this. He looked me in the eyes and said 'this isn't who you are. If you trust me, I promise I can show you a life so much better than this'. He could've just killed me but he was kind and I didn't experience that a lot so, I was hesitant but then Esme came around the corner. One look from her and I felt like I was... home. She just had such a warm aura and I knew she wouldn't hurt me" I recall.

"After that, they brought me back to the house and introduced me to everyone. They were all so nice and welcoming, I felt like I was apart of the family the second I stepped in the door. Jasper and I have always been the closest because he knows exactly what it's like to be under victoria, and Rose too. Despite that, I managed to actually get close to everyone and we're all like siblings. We're all from different places and times but we love each other and that's all that matters" I say looking up at her.

"I'm so happy they found you and that you accepted their help, and I'm sorry you had to go through everything you did. At least something good came out of it... and I got to meet you" she says smiling goofily. I kiss her on the nose making her giggle, I pull her up and put my arms around her waist as hers go around my neck. We dance and laugh and talk about everything until it's time to go back inside. "I love you" she says as we walk into the house, "I love you too, witchy" I say looking into her eyes lovingly.

I let everyone know we'll be leaving in the morning and we say our goodbyes before heading up to bed. I snuggle up next to her after we take a shower filled with kisses and loving whispers. Once I'm sure she's asleep I slip out the bed and go downstairs. I'm not sure why but there's just this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

It's never good when I feel things like this—calling intuition or a sixth sense but—it worries me. I round the corner, entering the living room, and see Carlisle and Esme sitting together. It's like this every time, as if they get the feeling too. I go over and sit on the chair opposite them, smiling lightly as my eyes catch their intertwined hands.

"You did a good thing today..." Carlisle sighs and I nod in response, "a stupid but good thing" Esme adds as she glances at her husband. I chuckle softly, knowing she's right about that. "They'll know it was you" he points out and I nod understandingly. I didn't think about it at the time, given my tricky position but he's right.

"As terrible as she was, she took care of them and I feel bad leaving them without—well—a mother basically" I voice remorsefully. "She may have guided them but not in the right direction" Esme reminds me, "but we all know guidance of any kind is better than being alone in that state of mind" I counter and the room falls silent.

No one here is 'wrong' all our points are valid but that's what makes it even harder. Carlisle gives me a knowing look and I frown as I think about the future. "We know you care about her... which is exactly why you have to do this" he mutters with regret, empathy weighing on his words. "I guess my idiotic tendencies finally caught up with me" I chuckle sadly.

"You did what you thought was right and—in a way—it was. These are just... the resulting repercussions of that" Esme voices and I nod in understanding. "How long?" I ask, "three months at least" he answers and I bite my lip. "Do I have any time?" I question, "a week... maybe two" he guesses. "Well... I made my bed and I suppose I have to lay in it" I sigh as I stand up.

Esme follows and walks over to pull me in her arms. "I'm sorry" she whispers, "it's not your fault. Though I suppose we can't blame a dead woman either" I joke. The brunette pulls away, holding me by my shoulders, and looks me in the eyes. "You'll be ok. We won't abandon you... we'll make sure you're safe" she promises and I nod gratefully.

"Thank you but... I won't need it. I'll be fine and I don't need anyone else getting hurt" I state and she sighs. I glance at Carlisle and he has the same tentative look on his face. They know I don't want them watching over me, even from a distance. It's a risk no matter how careful they are since newborns have impeccable scent. I know it pains them to let me off on my own like that but it's necessary.

Besides, it's not like we'll be fully no contact we just can't physically see each other. That's hard for them as much as it is for me—but again—I brought this on myself. I wish them a good night and trudge back up the stairs. I softly close the bedroom door behind me and slip back into bed with Delia. I hold her close to my chest and close my eyes.

This won't be the last time I see her but knowing I'll be away from her for so long is so hard. Add on to that, the fact I'll only have a week to tell her. She almost cried when I told her I'd be gone the last time. I can't imagine how she'll feel knowing there's no way she'll be able to see me in person for such a long period of time.