Indebted

23

Fowl was grinning at Esti in the darkened parlor. "Atticus's dragon is active Esti, the dragon is really for you!" Fowl said, thinking he was revealing wonderful news. Fowl had heard the dragon declare it himself, and a dragon would never bother to lie. Fowl could only wish for such a connection. 

Esti smiled back at her friend. "I already know Fowl, the problem isn't me and Atticus, it's everyone else." Esti still felt like she could almost feel Quwent's eyes still on her skin. He probably thought he was well hidden. He might have been to most people. Esti however, now had a dragon on the edge of revealing themself. She knew Every thought Quwent had let pass through his mind. Knew exactly where he was lurking while he got wasted on home brew from the soldiers and stewed in jealousy.

Esti was glad Quwent was so loud a thinker, he was practically broadcasting compared to other people nearby. Though it was hard to try and keep everything straight. Esti was doing everything she could to just appear normal. Everything was beginning to feel too bright, too glaring for her. Esti suspected that she might be closer to shifting than she wanted. Not a thought she let herself linger on.

Remember where they were, and what was about to happen, "You need to get into place," Esti chided Fowl. "Before Lillybelle thinks you got cold feet." Smiling. Fowl blanched, realizing Esti was right. Running out the door. Esti waited a few moments. Then left herself, just in time to link back up with Atticus on his return. Just as the doors were on their final call before being shut.

All she wanted was to make it through the wedding.  The smart thing would have been to go down to the boiler rooms and ask Mr. Norman for help to find a place large enough and secret enough for her to try and shift for the first time as soon as she knew it was going to happen.

Unable to stop herself, longing to have just this one moment to live in something like her life had been. Before her world fell apart. A step back through the looking glass. One night for Fowl's wedding, when she could pretend that the world was good. That things would and could be ok. Just this one indulgence then she would focus on getting balance with her dragon or whatever she was about to shift into. Then quickly plan what she needed to do to get her and Atticus free of the court. Forever.

Esti sat down beside Atticus, the empty seat for Myrrh glaring in the filled to capacity main court room. Corny and Fowl were stood up in front of Lord Magnus. Major heir Brett Michaelson also standing in a place of high importance. Esti knew Brett was Lillybelle's cousin, Brett wasn't ever going to grow up, one of his seventeen sisters was going to need to eventually become his proxy until another appropriate male heir was decided for his family. Lillybelle had a strong extended family, full of people who chose kindness when they could. She was a perfect bride for Fowl.

The court cryer slammed his staff on the floor three times. The sound of the metal against rock echoing through the cavernous space. Announcing as first Fowl's sister Patience entered from a hidden antechamber wearing a gown with a deep v and an easy relaxed style in beige, followed by Lillybelle's sister Cloudberry, wearing a gown almost identical to the preceding, but now with a halter neckline and trailing ribbons falling down the open back.

After a brief pause Lillybelle entered on her fathers arm. Wearing a voluminous gown that shared more qualities with an over frosted cupcake than Esti's gown for the evening. Lillybelle's hair done in an enormous bouffant, bedecked in jewels and pearls and feathers. It was over the top and magnificent. It took Esti until she identified four of the blossoms woven into the lace of the cathedral length veil flowing behind Lillybelle to realize every flower was one of the crops that had made her family rich. A beautiful, thoughtful detail. Esti smiled. Atticus could feel her joy and looked down.

Esti's amber eyes glistening with happy tears instead of fear. Her face accentuated by the delicate touches of makeup she was wearing. The beautiful, soft smile on her lips. Atticus couldn't help but smile to himself while his dragon purred. Their mate was truly beautiful. This world had inflicted countless horrors upon her, and still her heart overflowed with such a vigor for the joy of the moment.

Esti felt Atticus staring at her, she turned to meet his eyes. Taking his hand in hers, secretly in their seats. Giving it a squeeze, Esti leaned closer to Atticus, whispering, just for him. "I think they really will be happy." Fowl's dragon was quiet, just a beast with instincts to be managed. Fowl would fall in love with Lillybelle, Esti was almost certain.

Atticus let himself enjoy this moment. Fowl certainly made it seem like he was going to truly give this the best chance possible. If Esti was so buoyant for success, Atticus was willing to trust her, and try and join her and living in the moment.

Except Atticus knew, his aunt had more plots of her own that did not currently appear to have Esti and his best interests at heart. Myrrh had been more than enraged that Esti had not worn the gown that Myrrh had selected for her. Screaming at Atticus that she had promised the designer of the gown that the latest court scandal would be wearing the creation at the Fowler wedding.

Atticus did not appreciate the tone his aunt was taking, how she spoke about Esti. "Then you should have told Estella of your arrangements" Atticus had protested. Only to have Myrrh throw it in his face that Esti was nothing but a slave and should do as she was told and know her place. Not hearing how she herself, had never once told Esti to wear a yellow dress. Myrrh was past being rational.

Atticus had not meant to, but his dragon was more than offended at the various insults thrown. The dragon had told Myrrh in no uncertain terms that her plans should be discussed with those they involved in the future. Revealing, that Atticus had a true dragon, one that Lord Magnus did not know of. Myrrh had shut up with a click of her jaw and turned on her heels to swiftly walk away from the biggest party of the year for the court.

Knowing Myrrh was a more active problem than Esti had first suspected, Atticus went to find Esti. She was waiting for him almost exactly where he had left her to intercept Myrrh. He hoped she had not been lonely or awkward without him. All Atticus knew was right now, Fowl and Lillybelle exchanged vows in front of the king, His mate was happier than he had known it was possible for someone to feel.

Atticus had spent his entire life watching his mother be sad. His father would swoop in, take her away for a vacation once every few years and then leave her alone. It had been decades since he had last visited before his mother had died. He apparently wasn't dead, according to Myrrh. Just being reclusive as he always had been.

Esti was an enigma to him. Strength and depth of feeling like she had shouldn't be in the same person. Yet, here she was, tied to him forever. Coming to court, regardless of how out of his element he was, turned out to have been the right choice. Because it had led him to Esti and now he wanted to have everything with her.

Wanted to undress her, have the pins fall from her hair as he made her body burn for him over and over. Wanted to hear her pant his name or say yes sir. Fucking hell the things he wanted to do with her body. No sub, no sexual encounter had ever consumed his mind like Esti did. He wanted to fuck her every way. To find every nerve he could touch to bring her pleasure. Wanted to taste every inch of her skin.

He wanted lazy nights on the couch watching anything as long as it was together. Eat takeout from cardboard boxes on the counter side by side. Wanted to learn to cook just to shop and share a kitchen with Esti, wanted to live beside her always. In a life far from here, in human cities. Nothing Atticus imagined for them was in this strange, stiff outdated castle.

She is ours. The dragon rumbled in Atticus's mind. Atticus still didn't truly grasp how deep a connection he had to Esti. Everything was still too new to him. Atticus had also never gone to a wedding before. Sitting next to Esti. clandestinely holding her hand, watching two other people pledge themselves to each other in front of a room full of people. Sharing a bond that let Atticus peek on Esti's heart, might have been the most intimate moment he had shared with another human in his entire life.

Atticus wasn't ready quite yet to admit to anyone, let alone himself that he needed someone like Esti nearly as much as she had needed him to save her in the throne room. Someone to soften the walls he had kept around his heart his entire life. To show him life could be deeper than the shallow pools of pleasure seeking he had spent his time indulging in.  Esti was deep, an enigma of strength and hidden power. Esti was the ocean Atticus wanted to explore until the sun set one final time.