Indebted

26

The ladies powder rooms were their own, completely separate minefields. Esti did her best to look like she had a purpose, while also taking as much time as she could in the women only space. Using the washroom, washing her hands. Touching up her makeup, and lipstick. Fussing with her hair in the mirror. Until it was more than clear that no one was going to speak to her here. Esti made her way from the washrooms, not missing that several personal servants rushed out of the powder room behind her.

Spies and whisper sellers. At least absolutely nothing important had happened or been said. Esti did one last long, meandering pass around the edge of the dance floor. Conversations quieting when she was near, same as how birdsong stopped in a forest when a predator was near. A spoiled, drunken crowd of the highest echelons of the castle were the first to recognize Esti for what she truly was, even if the individuals in the crowd still couldn't yet see the truth. She was dangerous now.

Esti was finishing her last possible meandering loop through the ballroom. A sensation itched at her back of her neck, making Esti turn around. Meeting eyes with a ghost, nearly hidden in the shadows, a heavy coal scuttle in his arms, looking far more awkward than Esti had when she ran with the weight on her back.

The moment Esti met Dorus's gaze, her dragon was flooded with the deep sense of shame and regret. A wash of self loathing more expansive than Esti had known a person capable of experiencing. He hadn't even touched her, had just kept watch outside the shed during the attack on her first day. Dorus had looked at Esti with a horrified expression when he saw what his friends had done to her.

Now here he was. Still alive. In the castle instead of out. Working with Mr. Norman in the basements. The coward of a man turned tail and ran awkwardly with the coal bouncing in the scuttle. His inexperience clear to Esti's keen eyes. Was he part of the planned winter crew? Or a quick substitute after Esti had been mated and elevated out of slavery.

Esti's head began to pound, she hadn't ever had more than a single drink in a night before. Had never had to consider so many different levels of plots of dangers all around her. Esti was tired, and overwhelmed by the evening, she found herself wanting to seek out Atticus. To have him wrap his arm around her shoulder, hold her close. Let her make believe that he really was all for her, and he would protect her. Just give her a few minutes to not feel like she was balanced on a razors edge, with the blade already cutting into her feet, her blood making the fine edge even more precarious and slippy underneath her.

Atticus had been enjoying a game of poker with some of the lower lords. Intelligence nor company improved with the lower lords who had made their way into the games room this evening. Atticus played the games safe, agreed, nodded, and feigned as though he agreed with the mood and attitudes of the table mates he had found himself with. Trying to do Esti proud and remember the details and male gossip he was able to overhear.

One could shift into a dragon, two were wolves, the rest were just heirs or spares to their family. Not a single person of note at the table, but the things they were willing to say while the whiskey flowed thick in their blood delighted Atticus and his dragon. Both feeling as though they would be able to bring Esti some information of note that she could use for their collective betterment.

Atticus was listening to some more than interesting opinions when he felt a stab of fear from Esti. Quickly excusing himself from the table, folding his hand and forfeiting his bets on the table, Atticus went to find Esti.

She was his, and she needed him. Moving steadily through the crowd, Atticus needed to get to Esti. Nothing else mattered, not if Esti was not ok. 

Atticus and Esti met, on the edge of the crowd. The liminal space between the main ballroom and the gentleman's games room. Esti was vibrating, unsettled, frantic in a way Atticus had not seen. Which struck him as especially odd considering the harrowing experiences she had faced in his presence. A high ranking wedding was the most peaceful place to be in the castle. No one would dare start something at the wedding of the new, most powerful couple in the castle after the king. It would be political and social suicide.

Esti was overwhelmed, her mind and heart feeling and thinking far too many things all at once. It was so hard to be so on guard, so wary of everything around yourself all the time. Exhausting, with no way to stop. "I need." Esti panted, pausing, having no idea what it was that she needed. "I want-" She started to say again, but stopped, not knowing what it was she needed. Nothing felt right, her skin felt too tight around her, her mind and heart spiraling out of her control.

Her glowing amber eyes searching Atticus's eyes. Needing him. Wanting him. Her reckless heart trusting that he would know what it was she was seeking. What it was she needed. Atticus knew he needed to get her away from here. She was too close to shifting for the first time. Someone could notice her glowing eyes at any moment. As much as Atticus knew he needed to be uninteresting, it was even more important that no one at court suspect anything of Esti. She was known to be nothing special in the court. If that status changed, everything would change, far too many eyes would be on them.

Esti and Atticus had to work together to hide their natures from the rest of the court. Myrrh already knew that Atticus was more than he was presenting. Atticus wrapped his arm around Esti, taking control, leading her out of the ball room, "Anywhere we could spend a night alone? Perhaps some blankets left unattended for comfort?" He asked her. Relishing the feeling of her body melting against his. The trust she was putting onto him with her body.

Esti nodded. "The queen's gardens, no one goes there and there is at least two bed chamber supply closets along the way from here." Esti said, reciting from her memory of the castle floor plans. Knowing, no one went to the long abandoned queens gardens.

Atticus bent his neck, pressing his lips against Esti's. The touch of her lips against his was electric. Like nothing he had ever experienced. It made him only want her more than he already did. "Not here, I need," Esti pushed him away, her voice pleading with him. Eyes searching his.

Atticus took Esti's hand. Guiding her out of the ball room. Then they ran. Down various corridors, working their way to older, and older sections of the castle. Esti broke their hand hold once to grab blankets, and a second time to steal snacks from a servant way stop. Atticus himself, stopped once, to summoned some supplies from his bed chamber. He had a dark dream that he knew what Esti had been asking for since her emotions called him from the games room. He prayed that he was reading her needs correctly.