Indebted

58

Esti looked at Atticus. Really looked at him. Real, in front of her, him. Atticus wasn't the same any more either. Esti felt that she had grown stronger, harder, and in the nick of time for her and Opal to save themselves and bring the earth dragons back from the seas they had been trapped in for so long. Esti knew so much more now. 

Atticus, had not grown harder. Atticus had no idea what had happened, couldn't make sense of what he had seen.  Atticus had lost his hard edges. Been worn down. Forced into introspection he had never once made time for. Atticus had learned to live without being in control. Atticus was looking at Esti like she was the source of what he needed to live and breathe. Their dragons would need to take time to forge their own connection, their magic from two separate sources. It had never been their own failing that had made it hard for the dragons to connect, it had been their natures.

Atticus was near holding his breath as Esti studied his face. Neither moving to fill in the space or silence left after Esti said they needed to talk. The silence stretching too long.  Atticus was truly worried that Esti had taken his absence and moved on. Until he finally heard her start to speak.

Esti's voice was small, her walls crumbling. She had one question, the one that had haunted her since the day she shifted "Why did you leave me alone on the broken tower?" She needed to know why. What could have pulled him away from her so she woke up feeling alone, scared and used the first time she shifted.

Esti's complex emotions had been partly why Opal had lost control after the shift. Why Quwent was dead. Why everything had gone wrong could be traced back to that one moment. "Why?" The wind whipped through her long black coffee colored hair. Tendrils dancing on the ocean breeze. A single salty tear escaped her eye, blown away to join the salt spray from the waves. Her voice broke on the simple word. Atticus had left her. Atticus hadn't come for her. Theo and Joe had brought him to her.

Esti's broken heart was overwhelming. Crushing Atticus under his own disappointment in himself. No more lies. No more posturing. There was only him, and Esti, and Atticus needed to be the one to make it right. "I went to find a wifi connection." Atticus saw her nod, waiting for more. "I planned to have us living a new life before breakfast." Atticus forced the words at Esti in a hurry. Wanting her to know, needing her to feel anything but the hopeless, abandoned feeling he now understood that he had left her with.

Atticus focused on all of her, his eyes locked on her eyes. "I knew court wasn't safe, we needed to leave. I did not realize how long I had been gone." Esti's face softened The despair beginning to dissipate; a snowdrop braving the last of the winter snows. Atticus took a step closer to Esti. She didn't shy away or step back. Her amber eyes watching his every move. "I intended to quickly leave, book us a trip, a hotel in the tropics. Far away." Atticus took her hand in his. 

The alluring sparks traveled from his hand up his arm. "I got distracted, I didn't want to just take you away, I wanted to come back with my phone full of places for you to choose. I didn't want to make any more choices for you, I don't want to control you." His eyes scanning her face, she wasn't rejecting him, he was telling her the truth.

Her hand in his felt so good so right. He dared to move just a hair closer. Slowly moving his other hand to just caress her cheek. She was so tanned compared to when he had last seen her. She leaned into his touch. She had been a ghost last time he had seen her, she was brightly alive now. Walls and confusion melting from around her heart. "I thought you really left me." She closed her eyes. Atticus could scent the tears she was doing everything she could to not cry. The hurt she had felt. The weight of the pain she has carried.

Atticus kissed her forehead as she pressed her face against his chest, arms wrapped around him. Both hearts finally feeling whole after so long apart, after too little time together.