Hearts Series 3: Hearts in Chaos

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Heart In Chaos

Stephen lived with us for a couple of years...

And those years he was at our home I only grew jealous of him. Parang katulad sa nararamdaman ko noon sa kapatid ko... Because they were always with dad. They get to spend more time with him. Habang ako kahit ano pa ang pagsisikap ko na mapansin ay hindi pa rin nababaling sa akin ang atensyon ni Daddy...

"It's almost graduation. How's your grades, Iris?" Seryoso na bumaling sa akin si Daddy.

Pero natuwa naman ako at agad na binigay kay daddy ang atensyon ko. Our family were once again having dinner in our home with Stephen nang punahin din ako ni Daddy. "Matataas po ang grades ko, Dad! I was just about to tell you to come to my school." I said, smiling. Bumaling din ako kay Mommy at nakita kong ngumiti rin siya sa akin. I smiled to my Mom, too.

"Good. You should have good grades to land on a better university in college." Daddy said.

Tumango naman ako at may sasabihin pa sana tungkol sa college na gusto kong pasukan pero nawala na agad ang atensyon ni Daddy sa akin. Bumaling na siya kay Stephen at ito naman ang pinuri niya...

Pinigilan ko na lang ang bibig ko at tumahimik na lang.

Stephen is in Grade 9 now. At consistent din na matataas ang grades niya sa school. While I'm on my 12th grade and my last year in high school before graduation.

"You're doing great, hijo. Ipagpatuloy mo lang iyan."

Napabaling ako kay Mommy at nakita ko siyang nakangiti na rin kay Stephen habang pinupuri rin ito.

And I know that my parents were just both fond of Stephen. Kasi siguro nakikita nila ang namatay nilang anak sa kaniya... Although Stephen was just so different with my then older brother. Medyo suplado kasi si Stephen minsan at makulit din talaga kapag gusto niya. While when I remember my brother I remember that he was just always gentle...

Pero inintindi ko na lang din ang parents ko. They just probably miss their son...

But I was still jealous. And I hated the attention that my dad had for Stephen. I hated Stephen...

But when Stephen already had to leave, that's when I realized na mamimiss ko rin pala siya... And I regret that I wasn't so nice to him when he was still with us...

"Where will you go to college? I've been meaning to ask you this." He said.

Bumaling ako kay Stephen na katabi ko ngayon sa loob ng sasakyan namin.

Tapos naalala ko na noong nakaraan pa sa bahay he's been wanting to talk to me, too. He would knock on my room's door but I would only answer him that I'm busy and that I don't have the time to deal with him...

Hindi ko na siya pinapansin kapag nasa bahay kami. Kumpara noong una na kakarating pa lang niya sa amin. Because I only grew jealous of him. Because he was more close to Dad than I am. At halos nagkukulong na lang din ako sa kwarto ko kapag nasa bahay at lalabas na lang kapag tinawag na ni Mommy para kumain.

"Why are you asking?" I asked him back a bit rudely.

I don't talk to him that much anymore, too. Compared noong bago pa lang siya sa amin. Parang nga...gusto ko na lang siyang umalis sa bahay namin...

And now we're inside the car at hindi ko naman siya basta na lang maiiwasan because we're so close to each other now just both sitting here at the backseat.

Mukhang natigilan din si Stephen at nakatingin na lang sa akin. "Iris... are you mad at me?" He asked me when he noticed.

Pero umiling pa rin ako sa kaniya and I was ready to deny it. "No. Bakit naman ako magagalit sa'yo? Is there a reason for me to get mad at you?" I shot back at him.