Hearts Series 3: Hearts in Chaos

Chapter Sixteen

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Chapter Sixteen

Celebrate

Mabilis na lumipas ang isang taon sa relasyon namin ni Stephen. We celebrated both his and Shiloh's birthdays. Nag-effort din ako lalo na sa birthday ni Shiloh. We invited his classmates and I got introduced to his friends, too. At pumasok na rin pala sa high school si Shiloh.

Medyo emotional pa nga noong isang beses si Stephen nang mapag-usapan namin si Shiloh. He's in high school now and will turn to be a teenager.

"I can't help it but think back in the days when Shiloh was still so little. He was just a baby... and then a kid..." Stephen said. He really sounded like a real dad to Shiloh. Especially when we talked about Shiloh.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya. "You can't stop him from growing. But I also understand your feelings. Lalo na at ikaw na ang nagpalaki kay Shiloh. You raised him. So I think it's normal for you to feel that way." I told him my thoughts, too.

And there's just a lot to celebrate for us. First was mine and Stephen's first anniversary as a couple. Ang hindi ko lang in-expect na mag-p-propose na rin pala siya sa akin on the night that we celebrated our first anniversary together.

That evening Stephen invited me to go on a dinner date with him. I know that we will also celebrate our anniversary that night. Pero akala ko ay iyon lang. Hanggang sa may music, maganda ang paligid namin at sunod na lang na lumuhod si Stephen sa harapan ko para mag-propose na.

And I can only put my hand to my lips. I didn't really expect his proposal tonight. We're already aware of each other's feelings now. Mahal namin ni Stephen ang isa't isa. Isa pa ay naalala ko rin iyong nakaraan na naging usapan namin ni Mommy.

"What if Stephen will propose to you anytime, Iris?" Mommy asked me this all of sudden.

Medyo nagulat naman ako na bumaling kay Mommy sa tanong niya. "Po?" Napatanong ako.

And now that I think about it iniisip ko kung alam na rin ba nila ni Mommy at Daddy na may surprise proposal nga sa akin si Stephen ngayong gabi.

I remember what more Mommy said to me at that time when we were just talking about Stephen's proposal to me one day.

"It's all right, Iris. Hindi na rin naman kayo mga bata pa ni Stephen. So I guess it's only right for you to say yes once yayain ka na niyang magpakasal?" Ngumiti sa akin si Mommy.

I know that she only suggested that but it's still my own decision kung oo nga ba ako kay Stephen o hindi. Sa huli ay desisyon ko pa rin talaga. It's me who will decide to marry Stephen or not.

And now that it's here, I also think that it's only right. Hindi na rin kami pabata ni Stephen, gaya nga ng sinabi ni Mommy. We're getting older and being practical and honest, kung gusto pa naming magkaanak ay kailangan din naming humabol sa oras, sa totoo lang. It's the truth.

Pero higit sa lahat ay mahal naman namin ni Stephen ang isa't isa. At ano pa nga ba ang hihintayin namin? At isa pa we dated with the intention to marry. At ganoon naman talaga dapat.

Please. You don't date the person just for fun or worse even for experience? I heard some similar things about this from someone or somewhere before.

Alam na namin ito pareho ni Stephen na mahal namin ang isa't isa at intensyon na namin ang pagpapakasal isang araw kaya wala nang rason para magpaliguyligoy pa kami.

Ngumiti ako kay Stephen and said my answer to him. "Yes, Stephen. I will marry you." I said and I also felt happy and satisfied with my own answer to him.

Tumayo na si Stephen mula sa pagkakaluhod sa harapan ko at niyakap na namin ang isa't isa. Of course that's after niya sinuot sa akin ang singsing na binili niya para sa akin. Tiningnan ko pa nga iyon na nakasuot na ngayon sa daliri ko nang inangat ko bahagya ang kamay ko at habang yakap pa ako ni Stephen. Masaya na lang akong napangiti.

But in life it's just not always rainbows and butterflies. And when you think that it's easy, it will make you realize that nothing's really easy in here...

One time I was just watching Dad and Stephen talk to each other. Just like the old times... Masaya nilang kausap ang isa't isa. And Mommy also joined them. Stephen visited in our house again. My parents liked it when he's around. At mas naging close pa nga sila lalo na noong pagkatapos na mag-propose sa akin ni Stephen ng kasal.

My parents were already excited for our wedding. Nagpaplano na nga rin kaming dalawa ni Stephen para roon sa kasal naming dalawa. Naipaalam na rin namin kay Shiloh na magpapakasal na kami ng Tito Stephen niya.

And watching Stephen with my parents now, I felt something within me. An emotion that I have long kept. And it's about my father. Because I have also noticed that our relationship got better since I got together with Stephen... It's only that...

At napuna ko rin na parang mas excited pa siguro si Daddy na magiging anak na nga niya si Stephen...

I just can't help it but to think that—I feel like proud lang sa akin si Daddy because of Stephen. Dahil boyfriend ko ang favorite niya na dati pa. Na halos ipalit pa nga niya noon si Stephen sa kay kuya. That he rather have Stephen as his child than me...

I don't understand. It was just painful memories. And I should have already moved on from that. Stephen was nothing but good to me. At pakakasalan ko na rin siya. Hindi na dapat ako nag-iisip pa nang ganito ngayon sa kaniya o kay dad. Pero hindi ko lang din talaga mapigilan ang sarili ko.

I still wanted something that I have longed for a long time...

And that's when I realized that I also have to do something.

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