|CH7|

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More and more weeks started to pass by without me and Jaziel speaking

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More and more weeks started to pass by without me and Jaziel speaking. At first it was days, I figured hey it's just two days maybe he'll reach out at the end of the week, then it was one week, then two, and soon an entire month had passed by.

At first I thought finally. Finally he's giving me the space to hurt and move on. To grieve him as I should. Grieve what we'd once had. But on the fourth week I'd turned on the news. He stood there in an expensive dark blue suit a serious expression written on his face. The words he'd spoke loud and clear. "Thank you everyone for giving me the opportunity to speak upon this situation. I've heard so much over the past few weeks since my arrival home. I've heard people say I'm a liar, I'm a man who does not live in my truth. I'm a fraud. I want you all to know," he stared his guilty eyes deep into the camera. "That I never intended for it to appear that way. I was given to the system two hours after my birth. My mother was a..." he paused as if his own words would sicken him. "A pre teen, and an unstable family, that would only lead me to my demise. Luckily my father adopted me, and I was given the opportunity to have better, to be better. I want to shine light onto the hood of the system, of foster care. Some parents are unfit, and will NEVER be fit and...and the system has individuals in place to give these children a home. And some might be as lucky as me. And will given what I have-"

I was so mad I turned the tv off before he could even finish. How could he? Darlene treated him good, better than good and the first chance he got he spoke badly on her name. Her name which is ALREADY released. I can't imagine the sort of hate comments or treatment she's being given. And to promote, practically suggest that giving your children up for adoption can be a good thing. How could he? Pro lifers couldn't wait for someone to say that exact same thing. He didn't even spend enough time in the system to say something like that. He didn't endure any abuse, any mistreatment, he didn't experience the loneliness of getting rejected. He's offering false hope saying that others could be adopted into a family like his. Most children if adopted end up in way worse environments. I felt physically ill hearing his words.

And it all became suddenly clear why he avoided me. He didn't want to hear about how wrong he is.

Knowing I'd tell him if given the chance.

Surprisingly my time spent away from Jaz drew me closer to Dolion. Extremely closer. We'd been on about eight different dates, some consisting of fun outings such as the zoo, brunch, dinner, movies, drive in movies, hiking, picking somewhere within driving distance randomly on Google maps and trying different places in that area. I'd had the most fun I've had in a long time with him and it feels safe to say that I'm starting to like him maybe even too much. I can't even blame myself for it because this is the first time I'd actually been pursued the right way. I can hardly count Jaziel pursuing me because it was basically in secrecy. With Dolion everything is so open, genuine, and pure. I don't have to worry about whether or not we're spotted or who he has back home waiting for him. Because there is no one back home and he's a regular person just like me.

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