Keshay other known as "Keisha" is one of the best lawyers in New York City. Her entire life she's lived a fast pace life, fighting to be the best and never allowing herself to be put 2nd.
What happens when she meets Senator Jaziel Mithen, a black hi...
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I sipped from what has to be my 18th glass of wine, I could feel myself getting drunker and drunker. My tears and mascara stained cheeks sending a brutal reflection back to me everytime the television went black.
I called him.
I called his phone.
After he bluntly told me to move on and that he wants nothing to do with me. And in the moment it all sounded good. Him leaving, going back home, to be with her, to never talk to me again. And then me? Going back home to the darkness, left to sit with those memories, and never talked to him. It all didn't sound as bad as I knew it would feel.
My life filled with peace and the unknown feeling of heartache I'd grown accustomed to. In my daily life I'd wished for love, wished for a companion, but I wasn't depressed without one. I could live with the life I was living surrounded by work. And then Jaziel came and everything was different. Being around him became something to do when there was nothing to do. Then I'd gotten caught up in a friendship with him, we connected in multiple ways, always shared a laugh, we understood one another and my heart held so much sympathy for him. Then I stupidly had sex with him and for a long time I convinced myself that it wasn't a mistake. That in this life there was no mistakes and that everything is just fate. But life couldn't be as cruel to allow me to lose my innocence to a man that doesn't care for me, love me, nor respect me the way I deserve. After that it was as if my mind was consumed around Jaz.
Jaz Jaz Jaz Jaz on my mind all the time.
I went through moments filled with anxiety, a stage where all I'd think of is what he was doing. Is he kissing his wife? Making love to her? Making memories? Have family dinners? Going on dates? The pit of my stomach could barely take it and my mind was consumed with the painful feeling that maybe just maybe him and his wife actually love one another. Sleeping seemed to be the only thing to make the thoughts go away and for a while that's mostly what I did.
The next phase I'd gone through was waiting around for him. And that was a phase that soon turned into a routine even now. I waited for his calls, waited for his late night texts, waited in hotel rooms, waited after private meetings, waited till he was free. ALWAYS I sat there waiting and he allowed me to wait. He didn't have the common decency to rush, to move faster, to oblige me because he knew I'd wait however long for him. Instead he used that to his advantage and like a coster on a table I sat there waiting for the cup that is our doomed relationship to be placed over me, even if it was and is temporary.
And now? I'm angry.
I'm angry, I'm hurt, I'm sad. I don't know what emotion I want or should be feeling and that causes confusion to consume me.
