Cruel Passions Of The Other Woman

|CH32|

•Keshay Lewis•
"Honey"

I lay on my side in the guest room of his home. I rub my arm trying to comfort myself as tears repeatedly fall. I've been crying since Dimitri dropped me off around three pm. But now it's almost eight and I haven't heard from him nor have I heard him come in.

I'm not sure what's worst. The guilt of killing a man, or the guilt of what Omri said being true. Was I ungrateful? Was I wrong for not wanting to kill him? Have I taken for granted what all they've done for me? I never knew he felt this way if anything I thought he would understand but he didn't. He blew up at me, like a ticking time bomb I watched as he raged. He literally forced me to kill a man. I never expected something like that from O. At least not towards me. It has me questioning basically everything. Is this the plan I want to marry? That I'll be forever tied to? On one hand it's like the universe is sending me a sign. In big bold letters saying THIS IS HIM THIS MONSTER IS HIM and then on the other hand I feel like this may be a lesson. One that's shouting at me WHY ARE YOU BEING UNGRATEFUL. He's proven himself time and time again that he'll not only put his life and everyone else's in danger for me but that he'll literally kill for me. Months ago those characteristics might've seemed perfect. Until it's standing right in front of you and the picture you're seeing is scary.

I hear the door creek open and I just know it's him. I don't bother turning around to look at him instead I scoot further towards the side of the bed closest to the window. Not to give him space but to be as far away from him as possible if he tries to climb into bed with me.

"Baby," he calls out and I clench my eyes shut hating the way his soft tone still has an effect on me. "Can we please talk?"

I don't respond and I listen as he sets down a bag and what sounds like a drink onto the nightstand before climbing into bed with me. I rub my arm which is aching and my body tenses up as I can feel him very close to me. "I'm sorry..." I can hear in his voice that he's serious and one could even say hurt. "I shouldn't have forced you to do that. I understand what I did was wrong." His words sit in the air. As if maybe no words he says can be the right words to say in a situation like this.

"Did you mean what you said? Am I ungrateful?" I ask lowly.

The time that passes before he answers gives me a response before he does. "I shouldn't have said ungrateful it's just," he sighs deeply. "You damn near turned on me the minute you seen that nigga. Got to snapping at us asking why we didn't tell you when I did that shit for you Key. I thought it would calm you before our wedding. I wanted it to be one less thing for you to worry about. And when you seemed upset it upset me because I tried to make you happy."

"Why would killing a man before our wedding calm me down?" Just me having to ask that question shows I didn't fully think of the differences in our character and just how much it'll affect us in the long run.

"You don't understand." I can feel the bed shift and I can tell he moved over creating distance between us.

I sit up finally looking over at him. "Then help me understand." Please. I'm almost tempted to say. I'm not sure what he's not saying but I know something is wrong. Ever since the day he climbed into my bed and ate me while crying I've known something was different. Just not sure what.

He's sitting up with his knees bent and he rests his arms on them while lowering his face down as if he can't even look me in the eyes. "In my family that's how we show love. That's all I've ever known Keshay. I knew my Uncles loved me when while I was walking down the street an old head said a comment that upset me, only out a frown on my face. Do you know what they did? They broke his arm," he tells me. My eyes widen at the sound of that. "Imagine what they would've did if he put his hands on me?"