Safe haven |Hazel Callahan x Reader |

Let her go

"So...I've been thinking about homecoming and I have no idea what the best way to ask her would be?"
PJ and I slide our trays along the conveyer and collect our lunch.
"I don't think she's really a promposal kind of gal, do you?"
I shrug. My anger has dissipated now. She's been talking about this for days.

What colour of corsage? Will she even say yes? She kissed me so she will. Will it be awkward for you if we go together?

I widen my eyes at the traumatic weekend of memories.
"Hey!"
Hazel slides her lunch tray up beside me and her arm bumps mine. She stares at me with a wide smile. She's completely oblivious. I look down as the guilt eats me from inside out.
"Hi Hazel!"
Hazel leans forward as if only registering PJs existence.
"Oh hi"
She looks back at me but I don't look up.
"So Hazel...I was thinking that maybe-
"Let's go sit down"
I cut PJ off and turn the other direction.
"Wait-
She calls after me but I continue walking.
"You still have to pay!"

-time skip-
"I can't believe it's this Saturday"
PJs aunt scoops mash onto all of our plates and I distribute the gravy.
"My two girls all dressed up! We'll have to get some photos!"
She wriggles on the spot and her face lights up with excitement.
"So...any dates?"
"I'm asking Hazel"
PJ states. I pause, mash midway to my mouth. My eyes close tight, anticipating my aunts reaction.
"Hazel?"
"Yup"
I can hear her putting the pieces together. I wish I was in her mind. I wish I could control what she's thinking about me. Tell her it's not on purpose. I'm not a bad person. I feel awful about it.
"Hazel. Your friend Hazel?"
"Mm"
She nods. My eyes lift slowly to my aunts. I can see the confusion. There are swirls of anger and puddles of disappointment. I shake my head at her. Please don't tell PJ.
She looks down and breathes. A fake smile tugs on her face and she places a hand on PJs arm.
"Good for you sweetie"

-time skip...Tuesday-

"Homeostasis"
Hazel furrows her eyebrows intensely.
"Ummmmm...
"Come on! You know this!"
"Maintaining-
I nod encouragingly.
"Maintaining a constant internal environment"
"Yay!!"
I cheer and slam the flash card down on the pile.
"I knew you could do it. All ready for the test"
She stares at me intensely and I blush.
"What?"
"Nothing"
"You're thinking about the other day aren't you"
"Are you?"
She tilts her head. I shake my head no, with a coy smile.
"You're lying"
"Nope"
"Yes"
"I don't even remember how it went"
She leans forward, her hands on either side of my legs and her face inches from mine.
"Ring any bells?"
I pretend to think for a few seconds and sigh.
"Nope, sorry"
She brushes my lips softly with hers, gently kissing them. I close my eyes and sigh against her mouth. She's so warm and comforting. She pulls away and my lips feel cold and lonely. I open my eyes again.
"Anything?"
"Gonna need a bit more I think"
"Oh yeah?"
She smiles and crawls onto me, forcing me onto my back. Her smirk makes me squirm but I maintain composure.
"Yeah"
I nod.
She eyes my body, just like the other day and suddenly I feel naked underneath her.
"Does this feel famili-
Before she can finish I grab her neck and pull her towards me, sliding my tongue into her mouth. She groans in shock and I smile. I like surprising her. I bite her lip softly and slide my hand to her jaw, guiding her movements.

"PJ and I are- OH SHIT SORRY!!"

Immediately Hazel rolls off of me onto the bed and I stand up and rush towards my aunt. She slams the door instantly and I hear her heading down the hall.
Hazel slaps her hands on her face.
"Shit"
I yank open the door and rush down the hallway after my aunt.
"I'm so sorry you had to- and saw- I"
I force disjointed unfinished sentences together and I can feel myself getting out of breath.
"Stop"
"Wh-
She holds up her hand beside her head, the other holding a laundry basket and closes her eyes.
"Please just stop"
My heart bangs against my chest and I feel my body vibrate nervously all over.
"And-
She looks to me for the first time.
"I don't just mean stop talking. I mean, stop this-
She waves her hand in a circle. Regardless of how vague she is, I know what she's trying to say.
"It's not fair. She doesn't deserve it"
"But I can't-
"There are no excuses"
"I'm not ready"
"So let her be. Leave that poor girl alone before you break her heart"
Tears sting my eyes and I breathe heavily. In and out. Let. Her. Go. The thought makes me panicky and the tears fall. She tilts her head with a sympathetic smile and places a hand on my face.
"I know you're trying"
I nod and erupt into tears. I pull her into a hug and burry my face in her hair.
"I know, I know. Shhhhh"