Silent Pain

Chapter 4

"Well, Kris, who is it?"
"You won't believe it. Or maybe you will. I don't know."
"Try me."
"Nathan Black. As in Black Industries who hired me to work on his websites."
"Well this just got interesting. Call him."
"No way, besides I'm technically working for the guy."
"For one, you're working on his websites it's not like it's that big a deal. And two he doesn't know that. It's not like he met you when he hired you."
"Regardless, he's an arrogant ass. Calling him will only prove him right and make him even more egotistical."
"Baby girl, I hate to tell you but I don't think that's possible. Did you get a look at the guy?"
"Yes, I did. I was looking right at him talking to him."
"No, I mean really look. The guy has the looks to be arrogant about. I'm confident enough in my sexuality to admit when another guy looks that good. I mean he's not me but there can be only one me. And besides that the money the guy has who wouldn't be arrogant if they had his wealth let alone both looks and wealth?"
"Now who's arrogant. But yeah one of you is more than enough."
"Right, anyway, add to that the guy owns how many companies? Come on, don't you think he's earned some bragging rights?"
"Okay maybe you have a point. A small point. That doesn't mean I'm interested."
"Now I have a serious question to ask you?"
"I'm afraid to know but what?"
"Are you ever going to be interested in anyone again?"
"Honestly? I don't know Nick. I want to say yes but I don't know." I just wasn't going to admit I was attracted to the man. That would only add fuel to the fire.
"That's better than the answer I thought I was going to get. Don't get mad at what I'm going to tell you, but it's time to get over the past and move on."
"I am." In my own way I was. Just because it wasn't to start dating doesn't mean I was still stuck in the past.
"No, you're not. Clearly. The past still has a hold on you."
I truly honestly thought I was over it but maybe Nick was right. Maybe it was still holding me back. "Okay, maybe you're right." But I was okay with my life at the moment. I didn't need to be in a relationship to be happy.
"Maybe?"
"Yes, maybe. But even if that's the case I don't know what to do. It's not like I'm unhappy because I'm not."
"Is it that you don't trust guys or that is it that you're afraid of falling for someone just for them to find out about everything and leave?"
"I don't know. Maybe a little of both? But like I said I'm good. I don't need to be with someone to be happy."
"Yeah, I heard you. I just think you could be happier. I know you hate hearing it but, have you talked to your therapist about it? And don't give me that look. It could help, if you actually gave it a try."
"I did, remember?"
"Oh, I remember you going. But did you actually talk to them and tell them everything? There's a difference between going and actually participating."
"I'll think about it." I needed to pacify him so we could be done with this. "Now don't you give me that look. That's the best you're going to get from me."
"Fine, but if I get the feeling that you slipped back to that place you go to I'm calling John and he'll request a family session."
"You're such a rat."
"I'm your best friend who's worried about you."
"Fine, can we be done with this conversation now?"
"For now, yes."
"Well you finish your egg whites and spinach, gross by the way and I'm going to get some work done for Mr. Ego."
"Anyone ever tell you that you're stubborn?"
"I can say the same about you."
The next few hours went by in a blur. I had to make a few changes to the main website. They liked my ideas for the most part. I just needed to make a few tweaks. When that was done I got started on the Eclipse Casino. This one needs a major overhaul which I don't mind at all.
Just when I needed a break to eat Nick had ordered delivery. "You read my mind."
"I thought you'd be hungry by time you were done working."
"I could eat. What'd you order?"
"I got grilled with vegetables and a salad. I got you a burger with the works and fries."
"Mmm mine sounds better than yours."
"That's your opinion."
"And it's my opinion that counts." We both got a laugh out of that one. The mood feels lighter now that we're not discussing such a heavy topic anymore.
"So, next weekend a group of us are going to the Limelight. It's a karaoke bar. I was hoping you'd come."
"I already told you I don't do karaoke."
"You don't have to. Just come with me and watch everyone else make fools of themselves."
"Okay, fine. But...if you try and force me to sing I'm outta there."
"Got it."
"You know you really are a pain in my ass."
"I know, but you love me."
"And you're lucky I do."
"I know." He said with a grin. "It's worth it to get you out of the house."
"You just don't know when to quit."
"Nope, just like I'm not goin to stop trying to get you to give Mr. Black a call."
"Persistent. That's all I can say."
"Yes, I am. Now it doesn't hurt to stop being so damn stubborn and give the guy a chance. What's the worst that can happen?"
"I honestly have no idea."
"Let's take it from another angle. What are you afraid of?"
"Nothing."
"Bullshit."
"I'm not. I'm just not ready."
"I think that's as honest as you've been with me or yourself. Elijah can't hurt you now. It's time to free yourself of the past."
"This has nothing to do with Eli."
"Again, bullshit."
"Okay, you know what? I'm done with this conversation now. Just drop it."
He held up his hands in surrender. "On that note I'm gonna call it a night and head home. You good? You need anything first?"
"I'm sorry for snapping at you. But no I'm good. I'll see you this weekend."
"Don't worry about it. I know I can tend to push too hard. Well text or call me if you anything before Saturday."