sᴇʜᴠᴇɴ ᴠᴀʀɢᴀs
Every therapist, psychiatrist, surgeon, general practitioner, or any doctor in between — should be required to update a treatment record regarding their mental health state.
To partaken, witness, and have to explain some of the most heartbreaking and nerve-wracking moments is challenging enough. But then there's the personal side of the badge that's not talked about enough. Daniella O'Shea made me realize this. We were friends and more personal than any doctor, even Stephen, but Dani was also my OBGYN. She had a code of honor to withhold and a job to complete. In the midst of that, we just ended up creating something special in our friendship. Those conversations are the moments when I realize all of us in this medical field have our dark moments. Yet still, we have to wear our capes.
Six days left and I made my official promise to be back in the office. Already? It was taking a toll on me. Not because of the workload or the new position at the Psychiatric Center. But my husband.
Ion know. Maybe it's just a feeling.
Migi was on to something, but what that was exactly? I couldn't pinpoint. Several issues were playing in the back of my mind, truthfully.
"Oh my! I haven't seen you in months. I thought you were out saving the streets of Houston, Superwoman."
"I wish."
Dr. Peter Michigan was an amazing example of what someone in our world needs after heavy days or even single sessions that pulled on the heartstrings.
"You're definitely incredible at what you do, Dr. Vargas, you should know that. So, what brings you in today?" Dr. Michigan asked, taking his spot on the loveseat opposite of the tufted chaise chair, which I claimed.
Next to me was my Oxblood Telfar bag and I dropped my phone inside before crossing my legs with a heavy sigh. Why did I need to come and see Peter Michigan? Overwhelming emotions, maybe? Fear? Who knows? All I knew was, I booked the appointment and paid it in full the second his assistant told me it was available.
"A lot...and not enough at the same time," I started with, laughing lowly. "I go back into the office next week."
"I was wondering how the Teams calls were treating you. A lot of therapists have gone into virtual spaces for appointments. It's said to be tricky with your field of clients though. But you seem happy to say you'll be back in office...well, kind of." Michigan analyzed with his head titled.
Not five minutes in the man's face and he's attempting to read me.
"It was going pretty good virtually, but it dried up quicker than expected," My first truth spilled rather quickly. "I miss having a life outside of my home, you know? I felt accomplished after finishing my residency, but not a year later, I was preparing for a baby. Then, only months after our daughter, my husband was ready for twins," Migi was among my first group of clients. So, as grateful as I am that we reconnected — I have to acknowledge that everything between us sprawled out of control rapidly. "Being a new wife and mom is...heavy sometimes and not just physically," Dr. Michigan nodded as if my words were understandable. I wondered if they were. At least from a man's perspective. "I'm happy, alright? Don't get me wrong. I love them with all my heart and if I needed to, I'd turn away from everything. But... I also need a life outside of running behind a one-year-old and making sure my husband's needs are met."
"Sehven, it's very normal for newly married couples to reach this point, especially when you include children. Before, in your relationship, this sort of issue may have never even been a thought — due to the fact — that the two of you didn't have any kids. No one solely depends on you to be in place. The both of you were free to go as you pleased, with simple questions and answers, of course. Now? There's your daughter, who is a part of this schedule. Sometimes, it may feel like it's her schedule. And it's you that has to get accustomed to fitting again,"
