The rich kid with a perfect life is challenged to make the bad boy with a bad temper fall in love with him - and things get messy when he finds himself enjoying the little imperfections this brings in his life.
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-Nic-
I... didn't mean to...
I'd managed to fool myself into thinking there still was hope. I'd pushed through day after day, holding onto that fake hope that I could still make things right. That if I did everything Jax wanted, and everything to prove I loved him with my whole heart, he'd let me come back. It was the only thought that kept me going through that worst week of my entire life. I suffered every second without him next to me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't sleep or eat or live without him.
But in reality, I knew he wouldn't see me. I knew his parents wouldn't even ask him to see me because they wouldn't let me anywhere near their son ever again. That was why I wrote the letter. I needed him to know how sorry I was. I needed him to know I wanted to make things right. He probably wasn't going to read it, but I had to try.
I needed him so much...
But watching him turn away when he saw me outside his window ripped apart that little bit of false hope I'd still had left. Part of me still insisted on holding on to whatever pieces of it still remained. I tried to convince myself to return home, rest, and rebuild that false hope from scratch, but the rest of me couldn't see it anymore when I walked away...
Walking away had been the worst thing I'd ever had to do in my life...
I don't think I meant to...
There was a large concrete pillar on the side of the street when I drove back home...
I was a horrible person. At that moment, I really understood that. I'd been a horrible person to so many girls. I was a horrible person for not helping Jax when he was getting bullied by my own brother. I was a horrible scumbag for ever accepting the bet. I was a fucking horrible boyfriend for lying to Jax all this time. I was a horrible pile of dirt for almost getting Jax drowned, my actions leaving him greatly injured.
I'd failed so utterly in being a decent fucking human being that I didn't deserve second chances...
There was nothing or no one standing between me and the pillar...
I couldn't breathe. No matter how hard I tried to gasp for air, it wasn't enough. The world was turning dark and scary, like it hated me and wanted me gone. The pain in my chest grew by the second, like I was already dying, poisoned by my own disgusting deeds.
Maybe I did mean to...
Because this world was better off without me...
At least Dad did this one good thing for me. The Porsche he gave me was fast to pick up speed when I hit the pedal to the floor, the pillar now right in front of me.
