path of redemption

Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ － ｆｉｆｔｅｅｎ.

-Estella romano

Whilst i layed in bed monday morning, figuring out ways to go unnoticed by many students was hard. I was hoping they'd forget the charade that happened on friday at the party . I mean a handful of people saw the little argument seth and i had . I rub my hands over my face as i remember they saw april , rory and i basically giving everyone a show by grinding against each other . I let out a breath as i turn my head to the side as i look at the time 6:45am. Just a five more mintues until i have to stand up and get ready for the day. Just five more mintues to go out into the real world.

Not only have i been getting a bad feeling about today , but I've also been feeling stares at me. Which is weird considering no one on this street barely comes out or interacts with one another. I mean our neighbors were pretty nice and shit. I remember that one time when a very formidable dog chased me down the street . I had no choice but to jump into one of the neighbors backyards. That day i scraped my knee and not to mention i was scared of facing the owner of the house. Turns out i had nothing to worry about . Mrs lacey bandaged my wound and gave me a big lolipop that im sure was the reason for my teeth falling out at the age of 12.

Mrs lacey and i are friends now , i would sometimes take her gifts from mom when she and dad would go traveling. Her latest gift was some ancient books from egypt that mom brought home. Using happy as her reaction would be an understatement, the woman was content. For a 60 year old woman shes got alot of energy and not to mention she curses like a sailor. Which is why me and she get along very, very well.

My alarm breaks me out of my thoughts as i groan loudly probably waking up everyone in the neighborhood. I hear some talking and laughing downstairs . Probably mom and dad getting ready for work. They got here first thing yesterday morning . The place was spotless. Thanks to me anyways. When they got home they thanked my brother for looking after the house. Geez like i wasn't the one picking condoms up from the floor. Or throwing out piss that was in one of their vases .

I haven't been out of my bedroom since yesterday afternoon , only went downstairs to eat and then throw up everything later. The one thing that i loved about my mom is that she was a business consultant with dad obviously.

The reason i loved it so much , is because i knew she wouldn't be home that much. It gave me some sense of peace . My relationship with my dad was fine. We joked alot here and there. So cross daddy issues off my list.

I stretch as i get out of my bed , feeling a bit dizzy as i lean on my hand onto my desk . I blink a few times to get the blackdots out of my vision. When i finally gather myself i walk to my bathroom making sure to take the yanked up shorts out of my ass. I do my routine in the bathroom which isnt much.

Brush teeth.
Wash face.
Looking for more uncertainty in my features.
Shower.
Make sure not to touch my wounds.

The usual.

As i do my business, i walk out and contemplate an outfit for today.

Its not like you wear something different everyday.

Shut up

I block out my subconscious , as i search for an outfit to wear. I stop at my not so loose cargo jeans , smoothing out the fabric between my fingers. I wonder if it'll...fit. the last time i tried to wear it , it didn't even go pass my ass . What if i tried to be different today? Maybe the cargo Jeans with a tighter hoodie?

I bite my lip as i regard my thoughts.

Fuck it.

I grab the jeans and dark green hoodie. I let out a shaky breath as i lift the cargo jeans up my legs . Each agonizing second making my anxiety spike highter and higher by the passing second. I close my eyes as i feel the material smooth over my ass.