path of redemption

chapter thirty-seven.

-Estella romano

"We're going to a party tonight" the words that penetrate the air and makes the deep groan rumble from deep in my throat spill and the tension in my headache worsen. I blink and stare up at my two bestfriends whose grinning down at me. My teeth grind together as i clench my fists.

"Im not going"

My words utter out of my mouth before i can think and the grins they held on their faces slowly turn into scowls. Memories of my first party come flooding through and pure anger erupts deep within in my chest. I can feel my blood vessels cooking within every passing second. I almost want to blurt out everything to them of what happened that night. Im angry at them too. They left me. They knew it was my first party.

Its your fault

My subconscious is right...i ...i agreed to go. I gave the consent to be dragged away and put to use as their own little barbie doll. It wasn't their fault. It was mine. Instant guilt washes over my features. April and rory have been the best. They're reassuring.  Its not my fault i decided to be an outcast. I watch aprils grin die down as a she slumps down from across me . My eye twitches as i bite the inside of my cheek. The taste of metallic planting itself on my tastebuds. I almost let out a sigh of the familiar taste I've grown to. I clench my eyelids close as i slowly open them again. The sound of plates and students talking surrounding the entire cafeteria.

"Fine"

Both rory and april snap their attention to me as aprils eyes light up and rory lets out a wide grin which i roll my eyes to.

"Fine what? Fine you'll come to the party? " april buzzes in her seat and her dipples pop out.

"As much i wanted to spend my friday night...doing better things. Yes fine. I'll go to this stupid party with you guys" the words dont even leave my mouth as april jumps over the table and grabs both of my chubby cheeks and smooshes them together and kisses it. Some people stop and stare at the scene and my eyes widen at the unwanted attention.

Rory pulls her back as she plants april into her seat like a little kid. I breathe harshly "are you trying to kill me?"

She grins and wiggles her eyebrows "my love is lethal afterall" rory grimaces as she goes back to eating her chicken salad.

"Why can't i come too" comes the little voice. I turn my attention to lia next to me. Shes pouting. Today her hair is up into a messy pony tail . A few tendrils framing her delicate face. Her blue eyes shining up at me with sadness. Her lips is set into a pout as her cardigan hangs over her shoulder.

I chuckle "your dearest brother would skin us alive if we so much as bring you to a party"

At the mention of zaid...my mind goes back to the empty space he left when i woke up. His scent lingered in the air in my room. His body print painted into my sheets. I slept so well. Well would be an understatement. I slept fucking amazing. And thats hard to believe because i always manage to wake up with a nightmare or i dont sleep at all. So considering i fell asleep in the arms of the man who drives me crazy the most is ...not good. To say i was sad when i saw the empty space next to me would be embarrassing. I sucked it up and got ready for school. I decided i would stay clear of him. I didn't wanna look at him again after he so much as left me. Not that i expected him to stay.

Yes you did

I internally sigh. This might be a normal thing for zaid to do . To just get into someones bed and leave the next day like some dirty secret . But it won't be mine. I refuse to just be another one of his rebounds. He can easily ask one of the too many whores here at school to fill in the job but i refuse to.