Red Wine

12: After 21:00

Any classes held after 18:00 feels so wrong already, but classes hours beyond that time feels like a crime. 21:00 feels like it's the time the brain begins to prepare to end the day, slow down, and go to sleep eventually. For some, it may be the time to think of something else that isn't related to school - such as their life, the mistakes they have made ten years ago, the argument they had that they wish they could've said certain things instead of what actually transpired.

I've experienced getting classes as late as 21:00 for at least four times throughout my entire journey as a student. I have nothing spooky to share about my experiences here. What's more frightening about this was the experiences of going home from school this late. It just doesn't feel safe walking alone or even riding the bus home, and it's a lot harder as a woman. You can feel the eyes boring holes throughout your entire body with how hard everyone's looking at you. You have to be on high alert and guard yourself and your belongings at all costs, and that you should be ready to fight for your life just in case.

Of course, it never really got to the point where I had to fight for my life, and I'm extremely grateful for that. However, it did cause me unnecessary paranoia for the rest of my life. I don't ever want to go out alone even in broad daylight.

Class after 21:00 is even worse during the era of online classes. Somehow I even had an intrusive thought during class that what if... all of a sudden a horror movie plot began within our class, the internet becomes choppy, the video cameras of my classmates become like those gray static lines in old televisions, a creepy face of a monstrosity pops up of our screen, blood eyes staring us dead straight in the school as he screeches in a different language or something. Scary.

But not as scary as being snapped out of your thoughts, suddenly called by your professor for recitation while your mind was busy with that exact intrusive thought. And then getting another bad thought about the professor since you didn't like how passive-aggressive they were to you when you said that you didn't catch the question due to internet lag, but they told you "Just get a better internet connection then."

A few weeks later, you did manage to get a better ISP. This time, it has been proven that it was your professor that had internet problems - their video camera was pixelated all over, barely moved at all, and all you could hear from them were a bunch of beep boops. And then another cycle of intrusive thoughts goes on in your head.